X-MEM 278: THE BATTLE OF MYER PEN15LAND

AND WE'RE BACK, FOR THE SECOND TO LAST TIME EVER! CLAREMONT QUITS NEXT ISSUE. SO LETS MAKE LIKE THE MAESTRO AND MAIL IN OUR PENULTIMATE ENTRY!

 

I HAVE MY OWN ELLIPTICAL MACHINE AND RESISTANCE TUBES SO BASICALLY I LOOK LIKE GUIDO OR THE ROCK. ACTUALLY FUCK THAT, I'M BIGGER THAN THOSE SCRUBS. FUCKING LIKE SOMETHING MICHELANGELO CARVED OUTTA MARBLE.

GOD DAMN I'M SO FUCKING YOKED, BRO.

I BET THIS PANEL WOULD MAKE A WHOLE LOT MORE SENSE WITH SOME CONTEXT.

MOVING ON...

HOW DID THEY GET THEIR GUNS TO FIRE SO PERFECTLY IN PARALLEL?

YES, GOOD LOOKIN PANEL. BY PAUL SMITH, FORMERLY A MAESTRO BUT NOW MERELY PEDESTRIAN.

THATS ME WATCHING UFC FIGHTS. BRING THE PAIN!

NO ROGUE - YOU DID NOT COIN THE PHRASE "NOT HARDLY". THAT IS NOT HOW ONE COINS A PHRASE. JESUS CHRIST.
 

[SPOKEN IN A PERVY GROWL] ANOTHER SATISFIED CUSTOMER - HEH HEH HEH.

GOD DAMN IT! WHO IS LETTING THESE GINGERS PROCREATE!

SICKENS ME. 

 FUCKIN MONSTERS, BRO!

LOOKS LIKE YOU ARE REALLY FUCKED NOW XAVIER.

Oh boy, the Muir Island Saga. The crossover that fucked up the X-Men comic books forever. Claremont started it, but he quit right in the middle of next issue. He had already finished writing the first three issues of the new spin off title, Adjectiveless X-Men (not the real name, it was just X-Men without the Uncanny, that's just what clever folks like me called it), and decided that bringing Colossus back, as happens in the final panel of this issue, was one editorially edict too many. And so for the first time since Giant Size X-Men #1, someone besides Claremont will write the dialog of Marvel's most famous Mutants.

This is an all right issue. Paul Smith, former star artist of the 80's, comes back and does an OK job. At the time I totally didn't realize it was the same guy who drew the issues in the From the Ashes trade paperback and the X-Men v Alpha Flight miniseries I owned. Part of it is I think this inker, Hilary Barta, is crapperier than Bob Wiacek, who worked with Smith back in the 80's. Also I think Smith's skills may have atrophied.

Anyhow, Xavier sneaks into Scotland to steal back his modified SR-71 Blackbird from the hanger Excalibur had stashed it. He then brings all the X-Men back to Muir Island where the Shadow King has been slowly corrupting Moira MacTaggart and her B List X-Men for the last, I dunno, 40 issues?

It's a pretty unfocused issue, with lots of rambling exposition. It starts off being narrated by the Shadow King and then switches to omniscient narrated after a couple pages. There's very little action until the last few pages, where the regular X-Men are defeated by the possessed X-Men. The phrase "babe in the proverbial woods" is used.

I did like this bit about the astral plane tho: "Possibilities unfettered by the anchor of fleshy physicality, limited solely to one's imagination."

And like I said, Colossus shows up I the final panel. I don't know if I'll keep doing these after next issue. Probably some sort of wrap up. Then I dunno - definitely not issue by issue. Maybe a post every story arc? Who fucking knows. It's football season, I have other priorities at the moment.

Priorities that also include stuffing my fat face with a mother fucking burrito, Cause it's fucking dinner and I'm hungry god damn it.

OK, I'm off to go burrito hunting!