What we learn this issue besides that drunk cyborgs are pretty much the best thing anyone can add to a fictional narrative ever.
ROGUE'S TALKING ABOUT HER PUSSY.
Proving that he is truly a master craftsman of speculative fiction, Chris Claremont decided that the Uncanny X-Men were decidedly lacking in vicious cyborg killers, so he added the Reavers, a name Joss Whedon ripped off for his good but not spooge worthy series Firefly. The Reavers, whose origin is unknown at the moment, chill out in an abandon mining town in the middle the Australian outback. The travel from bank to bank, robbing, murdering and pillaging with the help of a mute, loin clothed aborigine, who teleports them around with his magic bullroarer/mutant powers. The Reavers are blackmailing the indigenous tribesman into doing their bidding, lest they permanently desecrate his holy land. Oh, right, of course.
But the X-Nards are heroes and are having none of that shit. So after successfully knocking off a Singaporean bank, the Reavers come back home to celebrate by getting super dunk, only to wake up with massive hang overs and the X-Wads all up in their shit.
The X-Pals easily win but the three main Reavers, Bonecrusher, Skullbuster and Pretty Boy, escape through the naked abo's portal. Why the naked abo (who's name is Gateway, or at least that's what everyone calls him) would help the Reavers escape instead of trapping them for the X-Men to capture, or maybe just teleporting them out into the middle of the fucking ocean instead of safety, is beyond me. Maybe he didn't realize that the X-Men just beat the fucking shit out of all the other Reavers, but whatever.
Then fuckin Roma, the Guardian of Reality and convenient Deus Ex Machina, shows up to help the X-Men get rid of the captured Reavers though the Siege Perilous, which is a big mirror/plot device that doesn't really make any sense.
Also I don't know if you noticed but all the Reavers wear black leather S&M gear. Sure, why not?
So this is the new status quo for the X-Bags. A bunch of mutants and one human/clone of a mutant (that's Madeline Pryor if you haven't been keeping up), chilling in Australia in an abandoned criminal cyborg gang hideout with a mysterious naked aborigine. It's definitely one of the weirdest but also awesomest time period in X-Men history.
Also Marc Silverstri shreds it up with more slick art. My only complaint is all his faces look exactly the same. Got kind of a South Park problem going. Without unique hair or costumes or a hat or something there's no way to tell people apart. But luckily it is a comic book so everyone is always wearing ridiculous costumes so who gives a shit? Not me!
The weirdness continues next issue but unfortunately with less cyborgs. :'(
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