What we learn this issue besides that someone has lost their damn mind and decided that Storm with no powers would beat Cyclops with powers in a fight. Just ridiculous.
RACHEL SUMMERS IS STILL DRESSED AND COIFFED LIKE A MAN. WHATEVER RACHEL, IMMA DO ME, YOU DO YOU, AIGHT?
EVEN AFTER SQUIRTING A BABY HUMAN OUT OF HER VAGINA, MADELYNE PRYOR IS STRONG AS AN OX, FRESH OUT THE BOX, THE CROWD SO LIVE, THEY COMIN IN FLOCKS.
SPEAKING OF BIRTHING, LILANDRA SAYS SHE COULD NOT HAVE BORNE LOSING XAVIER. "NOR I, YOU, BELOVED." SAYS PUSSY WHIPPED XAVIER... IN SPACE!
ROGUE GIVES RONALD REAGAN A BONER.
CYCLOPS SAYS HIS JOB IS TO LEAD THE X-MAN AND MADELYNE HAS TO STAY HOME AND RAISE THE BABY. WHAT AM I MISSING HERE, WHERE IS THE CONFLICT?
THEN SOME BULLSHIT FIGHT HAPPENS AND STORM BEATS CYCLOPS BASICALLY BY CHEATING. SO FUCK THAT SHIT.
Madelyne Pryor finally drops the baby she made with her ovaries and Cyclops' spermatozoa. Kitty totally hates it though because Kitty hates fucking babies.
See? Later, like 6 years or in real time, an old grey haired cyborg will show up in the X-Mansion and start training the Nood Mootants with guns and shoulder pads and tiny feet by the name of Cable. It will later be revealed, like 2 or 3 years later I think, that Cyclops and Madelyne's baby, which was taken into the future so it could be cured of a techno-organic virus (no I don't know what that is) given to it by the evil 5,000 year old mutant Apocalypse, was saved by a caste of warrior women known as the Askani, grew up, adopted the name Cable, then went back in time to lead the Newt Mewtints. And if that makes sense to you then you are a huge fucking dork.
Colossus hits the ball so hard it goes up into the stratosphere right by Air Force one. The New York Mets are mentioned because THE NEW YORK METS ARE FUCKING GREAT. Rogue goes after the baseball and because she's wearing tiny black panties and a loose fitting top, the great communicator gets a great erection. Or at least he would if they had invented Viagra by then. I mean his buddy Senator Dole was obviously a fan, he said so on a fucking tv commercial, 'member?
In other news, Xavier is gone from the X-Me, until around issues 275, I think, cause he's stuck in space with his bird alien girlfriend and a crew of space pirates led by Cyclops' dad, Cosair. So that's big fucking news. And Cyclops, who's all fucked up because he has a kid now but he's needed more than ever with the X-men because Xavier is gone, ends up losing a fight to Storm, who has no powers and just gotten the fuck beaten out of her in fucking Africa.
LEADERSHIP AND LAZER LOCK AIM ARE TWO OF CYCLOPS' 3 FUCKING POWERS (the other being his optic blasts, der). HE WOULD NOT LOSE TO A DEPOWERED STORM IN A FIGHT. EVER.
Storm somehow dodged several of Cyclop's FAST AS THE SPEED OF LIGHT blasts, tripped him with a belt, then took his visor off. Then Cyclops gave up. Thats the whole friggin fight. Embarrassing. Someone retcon this shit already because it is a god damn blight on his character.
Now Cyclops will be remembered as the asshole who left his wife and infant baby to get his ass kicked by a girl. Fuck that shit.
WORST ISSUE EVER. I am furious. Next issue: probably more of this bullcrap. God fuck it all.
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