What we learn this issue other than that Walt Simonson draw's a really fucking large Juggernaut
YOU'LL CATCH YOUR DEATH OUT THERE YOU PURPLE HAIRED NUMBSKULL!
BANSHEE'S HOLDIN.
MUTANT BREAKFAST OF FUGGIN CHAMPIONS.
ROGUE DOESN'T CARE FOR FUGGUN BREGFIZD.
I WISH I WERE AT A TIDDY BAR.
JUGGER'S BLUE BALLS.
All this issue's biznass takes place on fictional Muir Island, where the JV squad is training and chillin out, or in real live Ullapool, where Dazzler goes to blow off some steam. Both locations are in the bumfuck region of the Scottish Highlands, a place where men where skirts and women are fucked only if there are no sheep handy.
The first half is all about the junior squad of Dazzler, Psylocke, Rogue and Longshot getting to know each other and training. Shit, I just realized I need to cover X-Men Annual 10, for the introduction of Longshot to the team. He just sort of plops into the X-Mansion from another dimension, escaping from an obese spineless super villain tv executive named Mojo. It was a weird fucking time period for the X-Men back then.
Nothing all that interesting happens until Dazzler get's all huffy puffy and frigs off on a boat to some shitty fishing village and dances at some bar, where they don't charge for food or drinks but instead ask for donations (great business model!) She has a great time and is about to bone some bald, mustached dork in a kilt before running into Juggernaut. I don't know why Juggernaut is there but I bet it has to do with that asshole Black Tom Cassidy, who is not black, but Irish, FYI.
It's pretty hard to believe that Juggernuts just happens to run into Dazzlur in the middle of fucking NOWHERE, but whatever, its a fucking comic book. So those two fight and Dazzlar gets her butt kicked and passes out from exhaustion trying to stop the unstoppable Juggynuds.
Jackson Guice guest pencils again, this time with Steve Leiahola inking instead of the regular Dan Green, and it's fine. Marc Silvestri, who is awesome, will come on as the regular artist soon. In the meantime we're still in a long stretch of fill-in guys. I get the feeling these were just friends that Claremont and co wanted to give an issue to so they could share in the huge incentive checks the X-men were generating, now that they were the undisputed sales kings.
This was a very typical and enjoyable X-Men issue for the time, lots of soapy drama and some random excuse for a fight scene or two. And holy shit does Claremont pack in the dialogue bubbles and narrator boxes. Probably more exposition than necessary but at least you're getting your money's worth when you "read" these issues.
OK, two entries in one day is more than my usual quota. What a torrid, break neck I am on. I may finish in the next decade yet!
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