X-Men 218: Charged for the Lemonade!

What we learned this issue besides that the people of Edinburgh are tough and sturdy just like their poops.

HEY IS THAT A YOUNG JOSH BROLIN STARRING IN THIS ISSUE OF THE ALL LEZY EX-MEN?

 OH NO THAT JUST FROM HIS ADD FOR 1986 "LEGENDARY" SKATER DRAMA THRASHIN'.

NICE HOUSE, LOSERS.

EVERY TIME DAZZLER TRIED TO NAP UNDER A GIANT MOUND OF BOULDERS SOME STUPID PINK BUTTERFLY HAS TO COME AND DISTURB HER PEACEFUL SLUMBER.

AS RENTON WOULD SAY: IT'S SHITE BEING SCOTTISH.

JUGGS'N'NUTS HATES FUCKING TRUCKS.

 READY TO CRASH AND BURN, I'LL NEVER LEARN.

I THINK WE CAN ALL AGREE THAT JUGGLEMYNUTS IS ONE FAT FUCK.

THE EX-MEN ARE TEH WINNARS!

Now we're into what is probably my favoritest X-Humans ever. Marc Silvestri is going to rock it out with the superb craftsmanship of an artistic maestro. He's the perfect penciller for the era, as Claremont weaves more mature themes (like all those Morlock's getting executed, for example) but still has plenty off soapy drama and a dash of slapstick. What I'm saying is I would fellate these comics with no hesitation.

We start by checking in on Havok and Polaris, two wayward characters (and lovers) who haven't been used much since the start of Claremont's run like 10 years ago or some such number. They almost crash their stupid jeep but are fine. It's Dazzler who is really fucking, having passed out and then buried alive by Juggernaut somewhere int he middle of nowhere fuckin Scotland.

The X-Men, or what passes for the fuggin Egssmen these days, rescues her, are able to save her, and then immediately head over to Edinburgh to stop the Juggernaut, who is fucking that place up real nice.

Juggs doesn't care much for fighting the three lady X-Men and Longshot, the hunky humanoid alien from another dimension (long story), but they fight anyway. And after destroying a bunch of building, some cars and some train tracks, the X-Menstrations prevail, and Jugsman is hauled off to jail. BUT IT WAS ALL A CLEVER RUSE to distract any super people from Black Tom, Jugg's pal, who was busy plundering the Bank of Scotland.

WAY TO GO, X-LOSERS.

Oh well, build a bridge and get over it X-Ladies. There's plenty more super heroing to do. Especially because Lorna Dane (haha thats really her name) and Alex Summers have discovered a Space Shark filled with killer aliens! Shit!