X-MEN 276: DOUBLE DRAGON BOOK DEATH

YOU GONNA BARK ALL DAY LITTLE DOGGIE, OR ARE YOU GONNA BITE?

BY THE WAY MY FUCKING HEAD IS KILLING ME. FUCKING BELGIAN ALES FUCK MY SHIT UP REAL GOOD. MIGHT AS WELL JUST DRINK HURRICANE MALT LIQUOR IF THIS IS THE HANGOVER I'M GONNA GET. YEAH, I SHOULD DRINK HURRICANES. GREAT VALUE IN THAT BRAND.

ANYWAY, XAVIER GOES FOR WOLVIES BASKET AND GETS MURDERED.

OR DOES HE???

FOR MOST OF THIS ISSUE, A LOT OF THE GOOD GUYS ACT LIKE BAD GUYS, AND ONE OF THE BAD GUYS (DEATHBIRD THERE) JOINS THE GOOD GUY TEAM.

ITS BECAUSE THINKS GET FUCKING CRAZY OUT IN SPACE!

THEN DEATHBIRD AND LILA CHENEY GO BREAST TO BREAST.

SAY, WHAT'S WOLVERINE BEEN UP TO?

GETTING DRUNK AT BARS AND PLOWING RANDO ALIEN POONTANG? SURE LOOKS THAT WAY.

I LOVE HOW CASUALLY THAT IMPLIED BONING IS DROPPED INTO THIS COMIC. ITS LIKE, HEY CAN I GET A RIDE TO THE AIRPORT? AFTER THAT INCREDIBLE SEX YOU MADE WITH ME LAST NIGHT, OF COURSE!

TASTE IT XAVIER.

SO STORM IS ALL LIKE "?"

AND THEN FORGE IS LIKE "!"

AND THEN I'M LIKE "( . Y . )"

ALSO THIS PANEL IS AWESOME. COMICS RULE.

HEY REMEMBER THE P!NDYR? PTERODACTYL LOOKING ALIEN FUCKERS? NO? WELL ANYWAY, THEY'RE DEAD.

AND FORGE CRIES ABOUT IT BECAUSE FORGE IS A FUCKING PUSSY.

ROBOTECH BABY.

COULD HAVE DONE WITHOUT WOLVERINE'S ASS CRACK HERE.

JIM LEE IS CLEARLY FAMILIAR WITH HENTAI

WAIT SO WHY ARE ALL THE GOOD GUYS ACTING LIKE STRAIGHT UP DICKHEADS AGAIN?

OH YEAH, CAUSE THEY'RE SKRULLS. I KNEW THAT.

NUMBER ONE I'VE GOT TO GO TAKE A NUMBER TWO.

This was another fun issue. Too bad I have such a throbbing headache right now, or I would have enjoyed it more. God damn why does anyone drink alcohol? It's fucking poison!

Just kidding booze, I will never leave you. You know that.

Anyway, now that the Savaged Lands saga is over, maestros Claremont and Lee can devout an entire issue to the United X-Men of SPACE. Gambit and Jubilee are captured by Xavier, Psylocke and some Starjammers and other space people who are normally good guys but are being pieces of shit because they are really Skrulls! Skrulls are an evil, green skin goblin looking race of aliens who can shape change, which means they can infiltrate other species and fuck them up big time!

So why don't they infiltrate Earth and take over if they're so good at transmogriphication? They tried! They wrote stacks and stacks of comic books about it! You can buy them all of you have like, $5,000!

Blarg. Anyway, I feel like shit. I'm going to go get a burrito. Next issue, the X-Bags and Xavier team up and beat the bad guys! (Spoiler alert).