X-MEN 275: THE PANTS NOT SHAKIN

SO MUCH GOOD SHIT IN A SPECIAL DOUBLE SIZED ARBITARY ROUNDISH NUMBER SPECTACULAR! SO LITTLE TIME TO BLOG DURING A BOOZE FILLED 4TH OF JULY EXTENDED WEEKEND. I'M SO BUSY. AND SO DRUNK.

 

OH MY GOD I LOVE THE X-MEN YOU GUYS.

 

I DREW SOME SUPER LARGE PEPERONI NIPS ALL OVER ALL THE X-MEN AND THE SUPPORTING CAST. I LIKE A NICE PEP SIZED NIP. PINK PUFFY SILVER DOLLAR SIZED NIPS SURE WHY NOT?

GREAT COVER. PROBABLY ONE OF MY BEST YET.

THE STARJAMMERS! INTERGALATIC SPACE PIRATES OF A SHAKESPEAREAN BENT! PERFECT, HAVE THEM IN THE COMIC BOOK SOUNDS GOOD TO ME!

THE X-PALS ARE ALL UP IN SPACE AND ARE FUCKING AROUND WITH SPACE SHIT. LIKE SHIPS. BIG FAT FUCKING SPACE SHIPS. HEY MAN, NICE FUCKING SPACE SHIPS. REAL FUCKIN NICE.

THE X-MEN FIGHT DEATHBIRD, AN EVIL SPACE BIRD ALIEN, AND SHE FUCKS WOLVERINE UP. CHECK OUT THE VERY EXCELLENT SEQUENCE FROM THE MASTER JIM LEE. YES VERY GOOD. 

HAHA, HUMOR FROM CLAREMONT THE MAESTRO. HE DOESN'T DO HUMOR VERY WELL BUT HERE I THINK HE NAILS IT. LIKE, WHAT THE FUCK GIANT FISH ALIEN FROM THE SPACE LAGOON, THE FUCK ARE YOU AND THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING???

GNARLY DOUBLE PAGE SPREAD. NOW ITS THE XDUDES + STARJOBBERS VS THE IMPERIAL GUARD OF THE SHIAR BIRD ALIEN PEOPLE.

THE X-PALS WIN AND REUNITE WITH BALD DICK HEAD CHARLES XAVIER, THE CREEPY PERVERT WHO FOUNDED A "SCHOOL" WHERE HE IS THE ONLY ADULT IN CHARGE OF A BUNCH OF "SPECIAL" TEENAGERS. NICE FUCKIN TRY, XAVIER, I'M ON TO YOUR PLOY.

ALSO SIMOLTAENOUS TO SPACE ADVENTURE IS THE ROGUE, MAGNETO, KAZAR, NICK FUCKIN FURY AGENT OF FUCKING SHEILD BATTLE IN THE SAVAGE LAND OF FUCKING DINOSAURS!

WATCH OUT THERE BUDDY, THOSE DINOS LOOK ANGRY.

SO IF WE LET GAY PEOPLE GET MARRIED NOW, WHATS TO STOP ROGUE FROM MARRYING A T-REX?

THEY COME SOOOO CLOSE TO ACTUALLY USING THIS LINE FROM TOTAL RECALL. GOD DAMN THAT IS A GOOD MOVIE.

RICHTER, SEE YOU AT THE PARTY.

HAHA STILL FUNNY TO ME.
 

LOOKS LIKE THE EVIL ZALADANE HAS THE UPPER HAND ON OUR MISFIT BAND OF HEROES!

ALSO KINDA TRIPPY. NICE PANEL TEAM. 

OH NOS! I FORGOTS TO CROP THE TOP PART OF THIS PANELS IN MS PAINTS. NOW I LOOKS EVERY BIT THE RANK AMATEUR.

OH WELLS.

A WHOLE PAGE OF MASTERWORK BY THE LEGENDS LEE AND CLAREMONT. YOURE WELCOME WORLD FOR THIS GIFT I BESTOW TO YOU. GAZE UPON IN AWE AND LEARN SOMETHING FOR ONCE IN YOUR LIFE.

SO MAGNETO IS KIND OF A MURDRING DICKHEAD AGAIN BUT OTHERWISE THE GOOD GUYS PREVAIL IN THE SAVAGELAND AND ROGUE HAS HER POWERS AND IS ON HER WAY TO BEING PART OF THE TEAM AGAIN.  

MEANWHILE, UP IN FUCKING SPACE
 

RAPE! NO, NOT REALLY. BUT KINDA LOOKS LIKE IT. NOT REALLY OK?

The X-Men "win" in outer space but what a minute, he's going around fucking people up after the bad guys and Deathbird is vanquished? Holy shit its that bald fucker Charles Xavier! But how? Why?

Spoiler alert, its a fucking Skrull.

We find that out next issue.

This issue was pretty fucking good tho. Dinosaurs, space aliens, fucking titties. Its got it all. if you want to read one of the best pure comic books of the era, you should start with this one. it makes Superman and Batman look like total shitheads. I fucking hate Superman. Batman is all right but its like, hey, fuck you Bruce Wayne. Get a fucking life. Only the excellent collection of villains saves Batman from being a complete piece of shit.

ANYWAY, this is a good comic. Yes I've said that already. OK so I'm done talking about then. Go fucking buy it and read it! I did!