X-Men 223: Old Men and Poor Tim

What we learned this issue besides that poor Timmy has a looooooong night ahead for him.

EW MORE PEDOPHILE JOKES? AND WHATS THIS, A SNAKE?

THANKS FOR THE MEAL, STUPID.

BLOB LOOKED AT HIS ASSHOLE IN THE MIRROR ONE DAY. IT BLEW HIS FUCKING MIND.

 I DIDN'T REALLY KNOW ABOUT THIS JOKE BUT WHATEVER. I DID IT.

THIS ONE WAS POSSIBLY WORSE, ACTUALLY.

AND SOMETIMES DREAMS DO COME TRUE DUDE. THEY SOMETIMES DO.

 LOGAN GETS LIFTED. PUFFING AND PUFFING BUT NO GIVING.

THIS WAS A FAKE AD THAT THEY PUT IN THE ACTUAL ADS OF THE COMIC. ITS AWESOME. THIS IS WHY I LOVE COMICS. I WISH THERE WAS A CAPSLOCK FOR WHEN YOU WERE ALREADY IN CAPSLOCK.

HAHA, SNAKES CAN'T BELCH!

WORD.

HEY HAVOC, WHY DON'T YOU FEED HER SOME BEER. GET HER SLIVERING THIS WAY AND THAT. GET HER ALL FUCKED UP.

Does anyone actually watch Saturday Night Live anymore? It's fucking terrible. There's like one funny bit per thirty minutes. Even though I'm drinking (ROCKFIST), i got so bored I just put on Adam Sandler's They're All Gonna Laugh at You on Spotify. Hence the 'Buffoon' jokes strewn throughout the post.

Whatever, I'll get to the X-Plops already but seriously, who is writing these SNLs? Why does Lorne Michaels allow this? Is he not involved? Can they not find funnier people to write and preform? Do they have funny people but just don't let them be funny? THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THIS BULLSHIT?

Seth Myers should jump into an open volcano.

Ok, so, X-Pals, this one starts with Freedom Force being all like, yes we'll take this old WWII guys from those issues before. And we'll ask Destiny what she thinks, and Destiny is all like, well I can see into the future and here's what I see: THE X-MEN ALL DIE!!!! Oh my god it's like foreshadowing but when it's way more obvious even.

Then the Blob had the longest pee and Valarie Cooper was his piss pal.

THEN, the Storm, Injun, Vision Quest subplot takes over as the main plot and Naze and Storm trip balls(not making that up) and Storm fights a bear and then a snake but its all in her mind. All part of Naze's master plan to bop the man (here the part of the man is played by the X-Men and the temporal universe).

Also the X-Men hang out and act all agnsty and Havoc and Madalyne Pyror become pals. They share popcorn that tastes like someone jizzed all over it.

Hey, is that Dazzler pissing in that guy's fucking gas tank?

Whoops, quick PS - they just did the 'Technology Hump' bit at the very end of this SNL and a couple parts had me in fucking tears. HEY JUST SHOW SOME SERIOUS TECHNOLOGICAL PENETRATION YOU ASSHOLES. Nicely done. Nicely fuggin done.