WHAT WE LEARNED THIS SPACE ISSUE:
GUEST STARRING MARVEL UNIVERSE HAS-BEEN/NEVER WAS TIGRA, IN A COMPLETELY USELESS EDITORIALLY MANDATED APPEARANCE
THE X-TARDS ARE BEAMED INTO OUTER SPACE BECAUSE WHO DOESN'T HAVE A SPACE BEAMER THESE DAYS? GOD, GET WITH IT.
FIRST APPEARANCE OF BAD GUY ALIEN DEATHBIRD AND BAD GUY ALIENS THE BROOD. 2 THINGS: 1 DEATHBIRD IS A FUCKING SHITTY NAME, EVEN IF SHE IS BIRDLIKE AND LIKES TO MURDER, IT'S JUST FUCKING DUMB AND THERE'S NO WAY DEATHBIRD WOULD CALL HER SELF DEATHBIRD. I MEAN THINK ABOUT IT. JUST RETARDED. 2 IGNORING THE FACT THAT ALL THE ALIENS IN THIS COMIC BOOK SPEAK ENGLISH, THE BROOD HAVE NO FUCKING LIPS. THEY MAY BE KICK ASS VILLAINS IN NEARLY ALL OTHER RESPECTS BUT HOW CAN YOU TAKE THEM SERIOUSLY IF THEY SPEAK AMERICAN BUT ARE ALL TEETH AND FUCKING GUMS?
DEATHBIRD'S ROCKETSHIP IS A FLYING DILDO
SCOTT'S DAD HAS A SUPERB PORN STACHE
What the fuck is West Coast Avenger Tigra doing in this issue? The X-Men hardly ever even pay token acknowledgement to the fact that they exists in the greater Marvel Universe unless some major company crossover event forces them to or Claremont brings in some character he's concurrently writing in another book, so maybe CC is writing something with Tigra in it, I don't know. Either way she's fucking useless. And her power is boring and sucky and she looks like a circus freak.
Elsewhere in this ish, the X-Pieces are zapped onto a Shi'ar space ship and the whole plot is explained but I skimmed it so who fucking cares. The X-Men will fight bad guys and they will be IN SPACE!
It's also fun to see how Claremont deals with Kitty Pryde, who as a 13 year old girl with no offensive power, is pretty useless in battles. So for whatever reason here, Xavier blasts a bunch of space knowledge into her skull so she can be the 'brains' of the operation with Nightcrawler up in the space ship while the rest of the X-Men go back to Earth to fight Deathbird and the Brood (for reasons that are probably explained earlier in this issue).
I've already bitched about the villains enough, but I just want to reiterate how god damned ridiculous it looks when these creepy bug creatures with a ferocious set of nasty fangs and no lips talks with no discernible accent or difficulty.
And the last panel is a cliffhanger where it looks like Colossus is going to die. Of course he doesn't but to this issue's credit he does get fucked up pretty bad and has a spear through he bloody chest in the last panel. It's pretty gnarly, actually.
Hey I just though of something, a black Nightcrawler called Nigcrawler. Too much?
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