WHAT WE SUCKED IN THIS ISSUE:
DRACULA'S GOT JUNGLE FEVER
SORRY KITTY, ONLY CHRISTIANS CAN USE CRUCIFIXES TO STOP DRACULA. TRY AGAIN, JEW!
STORM DEFEATS DRACULA WITH THE POWER OF LOVE!
WOLVERINE IS ALWAYS DRINKING BEER, ALWAYS!
DRACULA WEARS MONOGRAPHED SCARVES!
I REALLY DIG THE 4TH PANEL ON PAGE 11 - ISN'T IT RAD?
Claremont could have really fucked this up, seeing as how it was really supposed to be THE Dracula and it wasn't like Vampires were the cool thing to do back in the early 80's. Of course, this was also before all that Twilight horseshit went and fucked up vampires for everyone, so maybe the timing was for the best.
Anyway, the main idea is Dracula neck rapes Storm, just 'cause he can, I guess, and the X-Bags go and fight him, but he's Dracula so he fucks their asses up real good. But then Storm uses her indomitable will to beat Dracula and so Dracula leaves them all alone like a big pussy. But it never really gets too silly, nor does it veer off into camp. And a lot happens in this one, self-contained issue, so it makes for a very fast paced, tightly wound yet very enjoyable script.
Furthermore, the art is by Bill Sienkiewicz, and even though it's not as experimental as his work will very shortly become, it's still easily the best penciling since John Byrne and is one of my personal favorite Claremont issues with regards to the drawings.
GOOD FUCKING JOB EVERYONE.
It's never really explained how and why Dracula is just up and about, doing his vampire thing, besides the fact that it's a comic book and the X-Knobs have fought fucking Frankenstein in the past, so whatever. Dracula is never really heard from again either, except maybe an upcoming annual, and the idea that Storm is potential concubine/vassal of Dracula isn't ever fully explored in later issues (which is probably for the best). Still, this issue was excellent.
And next issue is probably my favoritest ever. Holy shit what a fun treat for me.
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