X-Men 202: X-MEN... I'VE GONE TO KILL -- SOME MASSIVE TOOL WITH A JHERI CURL

What we learn this issue besides REALLY Jim Shooter? The Beyonder? AGAIN? REALLY?

OH BOY THAT FUCKING OMNIPOTENT ASSWIPE THE BEYONDER IS BACK, TO ANNOY EVERYONE WITH HIS BLOVIATING BULLSHIT.

BUT AT LEAST HE BROUGHT MY FAVORITE KILLER PURPLE ROBOTS, ALONG WITH HIM, THE SENTINELS!

BUT, THIS GUY RETURNS...

...AND PHOENIX, OR RACHEL SUMMERS, THE TIME TRAVELLING MUTANT DAUGHTER OF SCOTT SUMMERS AND JEAN GREY FROM THE FUTURE THAT ISN'T GOING TO HAPPEN ANYMORE, GOES OFF TO KILL HIM...

...BUT SHE FAILS. BECAUSE RACHEL SUMMERS SUCKS AT LIFE.

AND INSTEAD OF LEAVING A NOTE, RACHEL INVENTS (I'M GUESSING) A HOLOGRAPHIC PROJECTOR AND USES IT TO VIDEOTAPE HERSLEF IN 3-D TELLING THE X-MEN THAT AND RIGS IT TO PLAY WHEN SOMEONE OPENS THE DOOR TO HER ROOM. YEAH THAT'S A LOT EASIER.

WOLVERINE LOUNGES AROUND IN A KIMONO AND DOESN'T GIVE A FUCK, BUT LAME WAD STORM SAYS THEY MUST GO AFTER HER AND HELP/STOP HER. STORM ALSO SUCKS AT LIFE.

THEN THE X-MEN FIGHT SOME SENTINELS BECAUSE OF THE BEYONDER OR SOMETHING.
THE X-MEN WIN AND SAVE SAN FRANCISCO BUT THEY DON'T STOP THE BEYONDER, WHO PROVES TO BE A MOST INFURIATING DOUCHE BAG.

This issue includes some fine fight scenes between X-Men and giant purple robots, unfortunetely half of the comic is taken up by the Beyonder and Phoenix, so meh. And JRJr is back on art. So double meh.

Anyway, I don't really feel like typing anymore so here are some new fake lyrics to a new Katy Perry song. The music itself is perfectly acceptable pop jams, but I swear the lyrics were written by a 12 year old. Or a slightly Downy 19 year old. Mine aren't much better but at least they're supposed to be fucking retarded. Oh yeah the song is Last Friday Night (T.G.I.F.). Nice name tards. Enjoy.

Last Friday Night

I’m just jerking off in bed
Cause no woman will give me head
Goin spooge all over the room
Then probably eat some fuckin’ shrooms
Want to drink a god damn bar
And after pass out on the yard
Watch more porno on xtube
Need some lotion or some lube

Videos of ‘gine
Getting drilled online
I’m nude
I swell
It’s an engorged tool
And I’ll wack it till it drools

Last Friday night
Yeah I smoked a ton of pot
Then beat off with all I got
When I came there was a lot

Last Friday night
Yeah I felt it in my nards
Slathered up with grease and lard
Now my dong is nice and hard

Last Friday night
I got bored so on a lark
masturbated in the dark
Maybe next time in the park

Last Friday night
Good thing it's not against the law
To jerk off using some cole slaw
Whoa - oh -oah

This Friday night
Need to make a friend
This Friday night
Need to make a friend

Trying to get in that pink
Want it so bad, can’t even think
Want to do it on the floor
Get a taste and just want more
Remove your panties and your dress
Up in your guts I’ll make a mess
Bend you over start to rail
Had your front now do your tail