X-Men 204: Where the frig, Nightcrawler?

What we learned this issue besides what the motherfuck happened to motherfucking Nightcrawler.

Actually I never found out what happened to Nightcrawler. He was in some miniseries that I never read and will most likely never read either. Claremont didn't write it so who gives a shit, right? Not fucking me, that's who. Anyways.

NIGHTCRAWLER LOVES TO BROOD AND IMPERSONATE GARGOYLES AND POOP.

NIGHTCRAWLER'S NAME IS WAY TOO LONG. THAT IS GOING TO GET ANNOYING.

NIGHTDUMPER BREAKS UP WITH HIS HOT ASS STEWARDESS GIRLFRIEND. WHO IS ALSO HIS STEP SISTER. AND IS ALSO A WITCH. FUCKIN COMICS, AMIRITE?

SOME COED JOGGER NEEDS SOME AMODIUM

ARCADE IS IS STILL COMPLETELY WACKJOB.

REAL DIALOGUE TAKEN FROM THE BOOK VERBATIM: "BACK OFF YOU BRAWNY, BRUTAL, BACK-STABBING BOZOS!" YOU TELL 'EM NIGHTPOOPER!

YOU CAN EASILY THINK OF SOME RACIAL SLURS TO GO SOMEWHERE IN NIGHTCRAWLER'S NAME, BUT I DON'T FEEL LIKE INDULGING IN RAYCESS JOKES RIGHT NOW.

This issue is all over the place. Claremont's basically turned the X-Men into an anthology series at this point. With so many characters and storylines being juggled at once, he looses track of the main narrative. Part of that is due to those bullshit Secret Wars crossovers, part of it is Claremont's been writing X-Men for close to 10 years now. The disjointed feeling is exacerbated by the fill in artists. Some fucking guy called Brigman who I know nothing about (though it's inked by future super star, now pedestrian workman, While Portacio) pencils this ish. He's aight.

It's not necessarily a bad thing but this issue doesn't shine. Mostly is molders. After abruptly breaking up with his girlfriend, Amanda Sefton, who isn't seen again for a while, Nightcrawler goes on a solo adventure with some random chick named Judith, who is kidnapped by Arcade, that stupid asshole who Claremont seems to have a boner for.

They then fight 19th Century mounted Calvary, WWI bi-planes, a shark, Mad Max style dune buggies and a pack of modern day knife wielding Asian gangsters. Oh and Arcade wears a dress for some reason.

But Nightdonger saves the day, then there's some weird ass cliffhanger, and next issue is another Barry Windsor-Smith issue. So I don't know.

Oh, and there's a very blatant coloring mistake where Colossus' face is all fleshy when's is armored up (well it's a robot Colossus but still).

Anyway, C, C-. 72/100. Next.