X-Men 227: The Smelly of the Queef

What we learned this issue besides that Roma's citadel is beyond space and time yet able to perceive and access eternity. 

WHATEVER THE FUCK THAT MEANS

 I'M NOT GONNA LIE I'M A LITTLE DRUNK.

NO A LOT.

THIS IS ALL YOU HAVE TO KNOW ABOUT THIS ERA OF X-DONGS. AND WHY IT IS GREAT. LOOK AT THIS COLLECTION OF DILDOS. ONLY WOLVERINE AND MAYBE STORM ARE WORTH ANYTHING AS INTELLECTUAL PROPERTY. FUCKING MADELYNE PRYOR WHO IS WORTHLESS AS A CHARACTER IN THE STORY AND AS IP IS SOMEHOW THERE AND STILL IN HER FUCKIN FLIGHT SUIT. FUCKIN LONGSHOT, NO ONE GIVES A SHIT ABOUT HIM. FUCKING PRE ASIAN NINJA (LOOK IT UP) PSYLOCKE, GOD DAMN COLOSSUS IS IN HIS FUCKIN UNDERWEAR.

SO ANYWAY THIS IS THE LAST PANEL OF THE ISSUE AND THE DONGING OF A NEW ERA OF X-MANGE. A FUN TIME FOR US ALL.

 YOU FUCKIN TELL EM FUCKIN ROGUE.

WHO DO YOU THINK LIKES DIARRHEA? THERES GOT TO BE SOMEBODY OUT THERE WHO DOES, RIGHT? GROSS, I DON'T WANT TO MEET THAT GUY, EVER. ALSO HOW LONG IS FORGE'S NECK THERE? FUCKIN MR GIRAFFE ALL THE SUDDEN.

YES I LOVE A SMOOTH BELCH.

COLOSSUS GET OFFA THAT POOR INJUN'S BALLS ALREADY!

So like I said, I'm just a little bit drunk, so I won't be able to to do this issue justice. More dope art and crazy psuedo new age post modern mystical mumbo jumbo dialog from claremont. BUT IT IS ALL AWESOME BECAUSE IT IS COMICS.

The adversary is vanquished and Roma, that hot babe protector of the universe (well someone has to do it, right?) is the winnar and she anoints the X-Bags as champions and now they are believed dead because of the plot device embedded journalist (AND REAL NPR REPORTER) Neal Conan who was filming the whole time and beaming the signal to a rapt audience of all of the USA.

So the good guys won, because the bad guy was vulnerable to iron? And Forge sucked up the souls of his dead Vietnam War vet pals but balanced it all out with the souls of the X-Logs? And a bunch of gooks and demons fought for a while? What was that all about?

Aaaaaaaaand I dunno, fuckin X-Men. This is a good break period because after the the X-Duders go to Australia and it gets even fuckin weirder. So maybe a best of Balzac's is in order.

Or maybe I'll just drink 2 more beers and go to sleep because who gives a god damn?

Beers.

PS I WROTE THIS FOR THE TOPLESS ROBOT (A BLOG THAT IS GREAT) CONTEST:

Secret Wars III: Secretion Whores

Drawn by Arthur Adams and written by Jim Shooter, but no longer bound by 80's Marvel Universe decorum, this has Shooter at his "Dazzler: the Movie" treatment writing best. The 12 issue maxi-pad series (potentially expanded to 26 bi weekly issues depending on how much fluid is absorbed) stars a bunch of whores that are secreting everywhere. It turns out the Beyonder is back and the secretions are actually made from his Jheri Curl and it's up to the Marvel Super Heroes to mop up all the oily discharge and put the omnipotent one back in his place for good. Probably the Watcher and Galactus show up and somehow Captain America is involved even though all he has going for him is a shield and steroids. And Rachel Summers is killed and reincarnated multiple times because she is terrible and deserves it. 

Many buxom toy action figures and associated play sets accompany this semenal graphic novel release.

TOTALLY SWEET RIGHT????