X-MEN 272: GABIDLE GRYMZ EGGS THINK SHIN AH GEM DUH BARD ZEBIN

BALD CHICKS ARE HOT PRETTY MUCH NEVER, BUT I GUESS STORM IS MAKING IT WORK HERE. 

 

CABLE ALSO APPEARS TO HAVE A SPARE BLUE TOOTH ATTACHED TO HIS HIP. FUCKING LOVES HIS BLUE TOOTH THAT GUY CABLE.

CLAREMONT HAS BEEN SETTING UP HIS ISSUES OF THE CROSSOVERS (SO THE NON CRAP ISSUES) WITH BROADCAST NEWS SEGMENTS. HERE HE DOES THE MULTIPLE INTERVIEW THING AND INCLUDES A BUNCH OF EASTER EGGY JOKES. I'VE POINTED OUT THE ONES I CAN FIGURE.

NO IDEA WHO LUCAS HAMILTON IS. STILL, VERY GOOD FUN. ESPECIALLY THE PUNISHER, WHOSE IDENTITY MUST BE INFERRED.

THESE DOUBLE SPREAD PAGES ARE PRETTY TITS. ONE OF JIM LEE'S MANY HOMAGES TO THE JOHN BYRNE DAYS.

SOMETIMES EVEN WOLVERINE GETS HIS ASS HANDED TO HIM (ALTHOUGH HERE IT'S ONLY AFTER HIS MUTANT POWERS HAVE BEEN REMOVED AND HIS HANDS CUFFED BEHIND HIS BACK).

GOD DAMN JIM LEE IS FUCKING AWESOME.

PRETTY MUCH ALL THE X-BAGS HAVE BEEN CAPTURES BTW.

CAMERON HODGE MAKES WOLVERINE AND ARCHANGEL FIGHT EACH OTHER IN A PIT MATCH, BECAUSE HE'S FUCKING CRAZY.

SOME COMIC RELEIF. WONDERFUL BODY LANGUAGE BY LEE.

GAMBIT SHOWS OFF HIS LEET SKILLZ.

PYSLOCKE HAS A GUN. SHE ALSO FORMS AN UNEASY ALLIANCE WITH THE CHIEF MAGISTRATE LADY AS CAMERON HODGE IS NOW TOO FUCKING CRAZY EVEN FOR THE GENOSHANS.

TOTALLY NUCKIN FUTS.

Ain't never shoulda gotten in bed with Cameron Hodge, Genoshans. Sure, you're pissed at the X-Men for harboring escaped mutates. And Hodge hates mutants as much as anyone (more the most even), but did you not notice the giant robotic spider slug carapace his undead severed head is attached too? It's an unholy creation literally crafted by demons. Probably not the best guy to form an alliance with.

Things are looking pretty bleak for the X-Pals, as nearly all of them have been captured after their plans are foiled by Hodge. They're about to stand trial for capital crimes (hey that's the title of this issue!) and most likely executed. Luckily for them , all the high ranking Genoshans start turning against Hodge, and the reluctant new allies start their big counter offensive against abject psychopath Hodge.

Jim Lee continues killing it on a scale heretofore unknown to the comics industry. So very glad he never took his talents to, say, the movie or video game industry and instead drew X-Men comic books in the late 80's and early 90's. Luckily for us fanboys, video games back then were still stuck in 8-bit territory, and his skills would have been wasted on VGA garbage. Nowadays I imagine similar talents get scooped up to be the art director for the next Halo franchise.

Anyway, that's the end of Claremont's contributions to the X-tinction Agender. Two more total ass issues of New Mutants and X-Factor follow, which consist solely of X-Men and Hodge slugging it out in a rather boring and predictable manner. Except at the end, rather than, like, ripping Hodge's head to tiny pieces and reducing him to paste, they just throw his head at a collapsing building and decide it being buried under the rubble is good enough.

What the fuck? Idiots. He's already been decapitated once, and he made a deal with demons to come back from the dead and become some unkillable monster. You need to do better than that. Assholes.

Whatever, not my problem. Hodge will come back well after Claremont's last issue as part of some dumb shit called the Phalanx Covenant. That's when I really started checking out.

Also Storm is back to an adult (thankfully - I know it was probably an editorial dictum against Claremont's will, but adolescent Storm was a terrible idea from the start. I am glad it is over) and everyone gets their powers back.

Next issue a new status quo is established and Claremont's basically like, all right, you guys think you know better, you run the comic book, I'm outta here. 

X-MEN 271: FLAGE POYN! Thuh Ekstigwish Agenta: Bart Tree

YEP - MORE BELCH HUMOR. BECAUSE COMIC BOOKS CHARACTERS DO A LOT OF SCREAMING AND TURNING THOSE INTO BELCHES WILL NEVER NOT BE FUNNY TO ME.

 

AND YES, THAT IS FARVA/GILL/LANDFILL. GOOD CATCH.

 

WOLVERINE, WILL YOU LEAVE THE GOD DAMN TITLE LETTERS ALONE? I JUST GOT DONE FIXING THEM! THE FUCK, DUDE!

WELL WELL WELL, LOOK WHO DECIDED TO GRACE US WITH THEIR FUCKING PRESENCE.

OK LET'S GET WITH THE FIGHTING ALREADY.

THIS MAGISTRATE IS READY TO START PEGGING.

HERE'S A GREAT SEQUENCE. IT'S ALSO THE FIRST TIME PSYLOCKE USES THE WORDS "FOCUSED TOTALITY OF MY TELEPATHIC POWERS", WHICH WILL BECOME SHORTHAND FOR THE TOTALITY OF CLAREMONT'S TURGID EXPOSITORY DIALOG. MOST PEOPLE APPRECIATE IT FOR THE ENDEARING CAMP THAT IS. AND THOSE WHO FLAUNT IT AS SUPPOSED EVIDENCE OF HACKERY ARE MIRTHLESS BORES WITH STICKS, NAY LOGS, DEEPLY SUBSUMED INSIDE THEIR BUTTOCKS.

VERY MUCH ENJOY THE REACTION OF JUBILEE, BOOM BOOM AND RICTOR. ALSO THE PSYCHIC PLASMA, OR WHATEVER, LEAKING OUT OF THE MAGISTRATE'S EYES (HER NAME IS TAM, FYI). 

SEE BLADE RUNNER. THEN CHECK THIS OUT. SUPERB.

HAVOK! AT LEAST COVER YOUR MOUTH! GROSS!

MORE JIM LEE MASTERWORK. WOLVERINE MURDERS SOME FOOT SOLDIERS THAN GOES AFTER HAVOK.

WHAT'S ALMOST AS INCREDIBLE AS JIM LEE'S ACTION SCENES IS HOW HE HANDLES THE TALKING HEADS PORTIONS. CHANGING ANGLES AND DISTANCE. MIXING IT UP WHILE KEEPING A NATURAL PANEL FLOW. KEEPING THE VISUALS INTERESTING DURING OF CLAREMONT EXPOSITION. POETICAL, MELLIFLUOUS EXPOSITION, BUT THE WORDS TAKE UP A LOT OF SPACE NONETHELESS.

ANYWAY, HIM LEE IS FUCKING GOOD.

THERE ARE SOME WORD BUBBLES IN THE WAY, BUT THERE IS ONE OF THE FIRST TIMES WE GET A NICE CLEAN SHOT OF CAMERON HODGE'S ENTIRE FUCKED UP ROBOT SLUG MONSTER BODY. KIND OF A CROSS BETWEEN AN ALIEN QUEEN, A SKEKSIS, AND ROBOCOP. IT'S AWESOME. ALL HAIL JIM LEE.

 

I kind of wish the X-Men issues came at the end of the crossover cycle, as opposed to leading it off. The drop in quality from Claremont and Lee to Louise Simonson and Rob Liefeld and Jon Bogdanove is quite steep, and it would be better for the story if Claremont was able to clean up the messes rather than lead things off and then have to watch them fall apart. What's more, Liefield couldn't keep up with the schedule and the concluding chapter is done by a fill in artist, and it's truly wretched.

 

But, whatevs. Here we are in the middle, with Wolverine, Psycloke and Jubilee joining the fun. It's never made explicit but I assume they heard about all the shit going down in Genosha on the news (the comics are littered with scenes of mainstream network TV anchors reporting on the situation) and just made their way over from Madripoor.

 

They rescue Rictor and Boom Boom, two of the New Mutants who escaped but have had their powers wiped out by the Genoshan bad guy, Wipeout. Jubilee tries is dispatched, over her valley girl protestations, to shepard the youngsters to safety while Psylocke and Wolverine head deeper into Hammer Bay (capital of Genosha, natch) to rescue Storm and Wolfsbahne.

 

They kill some dudes, find and subdue brainwashed Havok (with another superfluous mention of Psyclocke's psychic knife, and it be the focused totality of her telepathic powers), but are then caught and majorly boned by Cameron Hodge. That guy is a real butt cake.

 

Then in Part 5, Wolfsbahne is turned into a mutate, a brainless slave of the Genoshan Government, and half of the remaining good guys are also captured. Then in Part 6, Leonard. Haha, no just a little Cosby humor. In Part 6 just about everyone else gets captured and Jena Grey makes out with Wolverine. How scandalous.

 

Part 7 is next, after which the crossover is concluded by two very shitty issues. Shittier even than part 5 & 6, which are both quite shitty.

 

Yes, X-Men without Claremont will often be shit, this is a lesson we've all learned by now.

X-MEN 270: Furds Dryke Dee Eggs Ding Chun A Jen Duh Pard Wun

HAVOK IS BACK! AND HE'S A BRAIN WASHED GENOSHAN SONOVABITCH! AND HE HATES COMIC BOOK TITLES! HE'S FUCKING THOSE LETTERS UP WITH FUCKING CIRCLES!

 

I HAD A MIDDLE SCHOOL ENGLISH TEACHER WHO USED TO SAY AGENDER. ALSO IDEAR, FOR IDEA. HEY, LEARN ENGLISH YOU STUPID BITCH. I THINK SHE WAS FROM LONG GUYLAND.

SO THIS IS WHAT PASSES FOR THE X-MEN THESE DAYS.

PATHETIC.

THERE SERIOUSLY IS NO REASON FOR STEVIE HUNTER TO SHOW UP AGAIN. IT MAKES NO SENSE AND SHE DOESN'T DO ANYTHING. SHE JUST STANDS THERE AND ADMONISHES PEOPLE FOR SOME BULLSHIT.

SO SOME MISERABLE EXCUSE FOR THE X-PALS MOVE BACK INTO THE BASEMENT OF THE DEMOLISHED X-MANSHUN, EXCEPT THE NEWD MUTAINTS ARE ALREADY THERE, TRAINING WITH THEIR NEW LEADER, GRIZZLED OLD WARRIOR, CABLE.

IT CREATES FUCKING TENSION.

HAHA, LIKE FROM DOUG FROM THE TV SHOW THE STATE.

CLASSIC.

THEN THERE IS SOME REMINISCING ABOUT THE GOOD OLD DAYS AND SOME SHOUTING ABOUT HOW THE TERRIBLY BORING NEW MUTANT DOUG RAMSEY, AKA CYPHER, WHO DIED. HE DIED BECAUSE HIS POWER WAS THE ABILITY TO TRANSLATE ANY LANGUAGE, WHICH DOESN'T MAKE FOR A VERY INTERESTING OR EXCITING SUPER HERO. SO THEY KILLED HIM.

ANYVAY, HERE EVERYONE IS, LALLYGAGGING OUT BY SOME LAKE, IN SOME STRING BIKINIS AND SPEEDOS, THROWING AROUND THE FRISBEE WITHOUT A CARE IN THE WORLD.

OH NO, THE ROYAL MOUNTED GENOSHAN BIKER GANG!

GOD DAMN IF THIS DOESN'T MAKE YOU LOVE JIM LEE. HEY YOU KNOW WHAT WOULD MAKE THE X-MEN EVEN COOLER? IF ROBOTECH SHOWED UP. OK SURE, YOU GOT IT!

ANYWAY, THE SUPED UP GENOSHANS KICK THE SHIT OUT OFF STORM AND A BUNCH OF THE NEW MUTANTS. STORM SAVES USELESS STEVIE HUNTER BY THROWING DOWN SOME HATCH AND LOCKING IT, WHICH UNFORTUNATLEY BLOCKS ALL THE REST OF THE X-DUDES AND NEW MUTIES FROM COMING TO THEIR RESCUE.

THANKS A LOT STORM. AND STEVIE HUNTER. GOD YOU BOTH SUCK.

LUCKILY CABLE IS NOT ABOUT TO LET THIS TRANSGRESSION GO UNANSWERED.

HE ALSO WANTS TO REMIND EVERYONE THAT FORGE IS A NATIVE AMERICAN. GREAT THANKS FOR THE REMINDER CABLE.

This is part 1 of the X-Tinction Agenda (it's important not to include the "E", as these are the X-Men, no the fucking Exmen), a crossover with the New Mutants and X-Factor that would completely fuck my whole world up, in a good way. At least the world that I had known for the first nine years of my life.

And honestly most of it is because of Jim Lee. He basically took every cool piece of science fiction from the last 20 years and threw it all magnificently onto the pages. I'm still recognizing new influences every time I reread these comics. Out fucking standing.

But for as great as the art and story is, it's also unfortunately about to bring about the departure of Chris Claremont from the Marvel Universe. He'll be back, after like a 8 year hiatus or something, and after 17 years on the same team comic book, he earned himself a respite and then some. It's just a shame that just as my tiny little mind was being blown apart from the culmination of decades of X-Men stories, the man most responsible for getting everything to this point was on his way out.

Oh well, que sera fucking sera.

Back to the comic book. It's fucking excellent. Duh. I don't think it's every explained why the Siege Perilous dumped Havok into Genoshan where he was brainwashed into serving the bad guys but there he is. So a bunch of good guys are captured and brought back to evil, apartheidy Genosha and the X-Men et al start planning their rescue. And Payback, grrr!

I won't be covering the X-Factor and New Mutant issues, because they mostly suck (though I sure did enjoy them at the time), but here's what happens next.

Part 2: The Genoshans kill Warlock, the robot alien New Mutant, while everyone else escapes except Wolfsbane, the teenage Scottish girl werewolf. Cameron Hodge, some guy who hates mutants, has gone crazy, fused himself to a hulking robot spider carapace thing, and taken over the Genoshan military, so he can accomplish his plan of killing all mutants everywhere. The President of Genosha and the Genegineer (just look him up), are dicks but they're not as crazy as Hodge, who is super crazy.

Part 3: All the good guys head over to Genosha to bring those fuckers down once and for all. They stop by Government official Valerie Cooper's place first (who I thought was under mind control by the Shadow King, but, eh whatever) and then land on Genoshan soil. Soon thereafter they are ambushed by a huge army of Genoshans, included Havok, who gets into a fist fight with Cyclops, his brother. Cyclops beats some sense into him and he starts to remember his past. Havok is then abruptly teleported away and everyone's like, ok, time for part 4.

NEXT: PART 4.

X-Men Annual 14: Days of Future Pants

OH BOY ANOTHER ANNUAL.

 

Despite having the master Arthur Adams drawing a Chris Claremont script, this issue is still kind of a turd. Mostly because it involves a boring crossover with X-Factor and the Fantastic Four. The FF really sucked during this era, probably the most boring family in all the Marvel Universe. And Louise Simonson's X-Factor squad was mostly crap.

But, Gambit and young Storm make it back to the X-Mansion (well the basement anyway, as the above ground structure is still nothing but rubble) and find Forge, Banshee and New Mutants, who have been squatting in the facilities during the X-Men's absence. So that's at least relevant to the regular series.

I also remember getting pissed off when I learned that this issue technically came out a couple weeks before X-Men 266, making it the first appearance of Gambit, even though the events in the book happen after the events of 266 based on the internal continuity of the comic books. This was also before the comic book shop opened up in my home town so I had to buy comics off spinner racks at some bobo convenience store by the train station and I never bought this issue. So I had to get much later because it costs like 20 bucks which IS BULLSHIT because as I mentioned, it IS NOT REALLY the first appearance of Gambit, it just happened that way because of the vagaries of Annual publishing schedules.

YUP STILL BITTER ABOUT THIS SHIT. I bought X-Men 266 for a dollar, I'm not shelling out 20 buckaroos for a shit annual just because you feebs can't keep up with story in the fucking books.

Whatever, this issue also starred Rachel Summers, who blows. MOVING ON DOT ORG.

X-MEN 269: ROWG REEDOO

HOW APPROPRIATE THAT ISSUE TWO SIXTY-NINE IS A SUPER SEXY ONE. LETS TAKE A GANDER AT THIS UNSTOPPABLE SENSUAL ASSAULT!

 

ROGUE USED TO BE A SHY, SOUTHERN TEENAGER OF NORMAL, TEENAGE PROPORTIONS. NOW SHE LOOKS LIKE A SUPER MODEL WITH PLUS SIZE FUN BAGS. EH SURE, WHATEVER.

HERE SHE IS, COMING OUT OF THE SIEGE PERILOUS. NUDE, NATURALLY.

PRIMORDALLY SEXY.

"I SURE HOPE THIS CYBORG IS OF THE DICKLESS VARIETY"

DON'T WORRY, ROGUE, IT IS.

WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS? AMPUTEE TRON PORN? I THINK MY LAPTOP JUST POPPED A BONER.

LILA CHENEY, INTERGALATIC ROCKSTAR. KILLER BEWBS.

ABOUT AS GRATUITOUS AS IT GETS.

CORRECT CAROL DANVERS, THE ORIGINAL MS MARVEL. ITS ALSO AMANDA SEFTON, AND POLARIS. AND YOU'VE ALL GOT MASSIVE JUGS.

ALSO THERE'S A T-REX!

COMICS!
 

HE REALLY HATES IT WHEN YOU CALL HIM THAT.

Jim Lee lays the cheesecake on pretty thick as Claremont finally gets around to showing what happened to Rogue after she walked through the Siege Perilous like 20 issues ago or something. We also check in on a couple dangling plotlines as the stories are slowly being woven together.

Rogue shows up back in Australia and is immediately attacked by the killer outlaw cyborg gang, the Reavers (they love to Reave!). She's also attacked by Ms Marvel, whose powers Rogue stole a long time ago. Rogue and Ms Marvel teleport again with the help of Gateway, the mute aborigine that hangs out in Australia. Rogue ends up in the Savageland, a tiny enclave of prehistoric flora and fauna that sits above a geothermal hotspot in Antarctica, while Ms Marvel get marooned on Muir Island, which has been taken over by the Shadow King, who now has everyone under mind control. Ms Marvel ends up back in the Savegeland to fight Rogue, but is now also enthralled by the evil Shadow King. Eventually, fuckin Magneto shows up to save Rogue's life. We don't find out what happens to Ms Marvel and what happens next until several issues later because the next 3 X-Men will part of the 9 part X-Tinction Agenda crossover, along with X-Factor and the New Mutants, which takes place in Genosha.

Also Lila Cheney ran away from some fucking guy called the Strike Lord, who appears to have taken over the Shiar Empire and is probably a total bastard. Hey, the Shiar Empire, isn't that where Charles Xavier is supposed to be????

Again, we don't find out anything until after the crossover.

So, nice to have your back Rogue. Your breastuses are looking nice and your clevages are heaving.

Good issue, next is the massive x-over the blew my tiny little mind back in the day. Also an annual, with a much shittier x-over.

X-MEN 268: MADRIPOOR KNAVES

HAPPY DAY YOU MOTHERS.

 



YOU WANT SOME HEROIC FUCKING POSES? HOW BOUT THESE RIGHT HERE. THERES YOUR HEROIC MOTHERFUCKIN POSES.

FUCKIN CAPTAIN AMERICA.

CAPTAIN MOTHERFUCKING AMERICA.

AND WOLVERINE JUST FUCKIN CUTS THAT NINJA OPEN RIGHT AT THE BELLY. FUCKIN GUTS SPILLIN OUT EVERYWHERE.

I HATE MADRIPOOR NAZIS.

CLAREMONT AND TOM ORZECHOWSKI LETTERER SUPREME KIND OF STEP ON JIM LEE'S GREAT VISUAL GAG HERE BUT YOU CAN STILL ENJOY JUBILEE LAMENTING HER LACK OF AWESOME ROCKIN BEWBULARS.

HAHA NICE.

FUCKIN LOOK AT WOLVERINE. LOOK HOW FUCKING AWESOME HE IS. YOU WANT TO RUN HIM OVER IN YOU CAR, NAZIS? HUH, IS THAT YOUR PLAN?

WELL FUCK YOU. WOLVERINE SHITS ON YOUR PLAN.

YOU TAKE SOME OF THAT, NAZIS!

WOLVERINE HAS VERY PARTICULAR TASTES.

I WAS ALSO TURNED INTO A NEWT!

WAIT, WHY IS THE TELESCOPE HAVE A SPEAKER? AND WHAT'S RECORDING THE SOUND? EH WHATEVER.

This issue is outstanding. So fucking rad that I had to buy multiple copies when it came out, because I cut a bunch of the panels out of the first one I bought so I could tape them up around my desk. I also traced a bunch of the pages on notebook paper.

Yes I was an incredibly cool nine year old, thank you for asking.

Wolverine and Captain American fight Nazis and ninjas in the 40's, Wolverine, Psylocke, Jubilee and Black Widow fight ninjas in the present. Yup, its as awesome as it sounds. SO AWESOME.

Its not perfect, though. Like, I never understood how the Black Widow can be a child in 1941 and in her 20's in 1990. But you can tell Jim Lee and Scott Williams took their appropriate amount of time crafting this ish, and the result is quite stunning. They are fucking professionals.

The flashback scenes are also kind of pointless and involve some Wolverine retconning, and the present day plot ends rather abruptly, but whatever, its still excellent and a wonderful display of Wolverine at his most bad ass. At the end of the flashback, Captain America tells Wolverine that it would be a shame to break up their successful partnership and Wolverine says: "No thanks, Cap, I don't need a sidekick."

HAHAHA, BURN! In your face Captain Americunt!

Whoa, dunno where that came from. I actually like Star Spangled Sentinel of Liberty. I'd let him spangle my face if you know what I'm talking about.

Still, Wolverine reigns supreme. I'd also like to point out that the popularity of the name "Logan" has risen in step with the popularity of Wolverine the character. Wolverine was created in 1974, at which time, Logan was the 968th most popular boy's name. In 1990 the name ranked 104th. Last year is was 21st. And yes, I feel comfortable attributing 100% of that dramatic rise to Wolverine and in particular Chris Claremont's writing of the character. Believe it.

Anyway, the long term plotline of the Strucker twins and their alliance with the Hand got cut short due to editorially mandated crossovers and then Claremont quitting, so we never saw how this would have played out. It's also hinted that Psylocke may still be under the thrall of the Hand, but that's just kind of ignored, too. It's not really a problem, it just means that we're getting to the end of the Claremont run. So you better savor every last one of these issues. Savor the motherfucking shit out of them.

X-MEN 267: (POO) NANNY: INTO THE FIYAAAAAAAAHHHH

SKIN PAINTED ON HIS FACE LOOK AGELESS

STARKY THE WALLABEE CHAMP

FUCKIN THESE GUYS.

 

 BOOT???

UM, SO, THIS PANEL KIND OF EXPLAINS WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON. MAYBE IT MAKES SENSE TO YOU. MAYBE IT DOESN'T. EITHER WAY, I DON'T CARE.

PS I'M DRUNK.

THIS SEQUENCE ALWAYS BOTHERED ME. THE TIMING IS ALL OFF. VERY WEIRD. JIM LEE AND WHILCE PORTACIO SPLIT UP THE PAGES AND THIS ONE IS PORTACIO'S. WHILCE IS AWESOME BUT LEE IS BETTER AT PACING.

 

ALSO, THEY BOTH LOVE BREAKIN THE FUCK OUT OF THE PANELS AND THEY BOTH DO SOME PROBABLY UNNECESSARY BUT STILL RAD DOUBLE PAGE SPREADS. STILL, LEE IS THE PRODIGY. THE GREAT YELLOW HOPE (SORRY, VERY RACIST, I INSTANTLY REGRET THAT. MY BAD.)

 

ANYWAY, THESE PANELS READ LIKE WATCHING JAPANIMATION. THERES JUST SOMETHING OFF ABOUT THEM. PROBABLY THE ASIANESS. HAHA, ASIANS (SORRY, ALSO RACIST).

 

COOL SUNGLASSES, COOL HAIR, COOL SMOKES, FUCKING GAMBIT IS SO FUCKING COOL.

HEY LETS ALL SMOKE CIGARETTES AND BE COOL.

UH, WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS. IT LOOKS ILLEGAL. COME ON MAN, THIS IS FUCKING NOT RIGHT.

YES, GOOD PANEL. EXCELLENT PANEL. LOFTY PANEL. JIM LEE AT HIS FINEST.

 

So the rumors you have heard are true. I have indeed been drinking. and thus, I shall be brief. Not unlike my performances of sensual congress. Haha WORDPLAY.

 

Anyhoot, Storm and Gambit are now friends. First they escape mind the controlling butt bag, The Shadow King, and his army of mind controlled Hounds, then they rob a bunch of people in Nawleens, then the get captured by Nanny and the Orphan Maker, then they fuck up Nanny and the Orphan maker.

 

I DONT LIKE 10 YEAR OLD STORM. NO ONE DOES. ITS A DUMB FUCKING PLOT DEVEOPMENT OF A CRAP CHARACTER.

 

But Gambit is pretty all right. Has potential. The backstory to what he was supposed to be and what he became is cool. LOOK IT UP I AM NOT FUCKING WIKIPEDIA.

 

The art suffers from the multiple pencilers, more so story telling than pure aesthetic quality, but the writing is cool enough. Fun times, not great but a pretty good comic for one hundred pennies. YES EVEN WITH INFLATION THIS COMIC IS A BARGAIN.

 

Great entertainment value. Fuckin lofty fuckin value.

 

Next issue is a fucking classic. Looking forward to it. Will be a time for pals indeed.