X-MEN 264: HOG POO SHIT

SOME X-PALS ARE IN HOT PURSUIT OF SOME OTHER X-DUDES BECAUSE THEY ARE BEING HELD HOSTAGE BY THOSE ASSHOLES THE GENOSHANS. DO THEY SAVE THEM? YES, DUH. THE COMIC BOOK IS CALLED THE UNCANNY X-MEN, NOT THE UNCANNY FUCKIN GENOSHANS, YA DRINGUS. 

 

 

JIM LEE DRAWS A NICE COVER SO MAYNARD KEENAN GETS THE CORNOR SPOT. 

UNFORTUNATELY SOME NOBODY DRAWS THE INTERIORS. OH WELL.

SO THAT GUYS DEAD.

SO IS FUCKIN THAT GUY.

FUCKING TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA FUCKIN TURTLES HAVE RUINED A WHOLE GENERATION'S CONCEPT OF FUCKIN SEWERS.

HAHA, WHAT DOES FORGE THINK HE IS, A FUCKIN SHARK? YOU THINK YOU'RE IN DEEP FUCKIN BLUE? YOU GONNA EAT SAMUEL FUCKIN JACKSON? GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE, FORGE, YOU FUCKIN WANNABE SHARK ASSHOLE.

THAT POOR SAP BOUGHT IT. BUT DON'T WORRY ABOUT THE DAME, SHE'S WEARING BODY ARMOUR, SEE?

ALL RIGHT, TIME TO QUIT THAT NONSENSE.

HAHA, GOOD SEQUENCE.

WHERE THE FUCK DID THAT ASSHOLE LEARN HOW TO FUCKING WALK? THE DIPSHIT SCHOOL FOR JAGOVS?

WTC RIP.

NOT AS ABSURD NOW THAT THEY BUILT THE BURJ DUBAI BUT COMMON, THATS ABSURD.

THIS PANEL TOOK WAY LONGER THAN IT WAS WORTH. OH WELL. I'M JUST SITTING AROUND, EATING COLD CEREAL, LIKE A SLOB, WATCHING PAWN STARS AND BAR RESCUE. WHO GIVES A SHIT IF I WASTE SOME PRECIOUS FUCKING TIME? FUCKIN NOBODY, THAT'S WHO.

Pretty so-so outing by Claremont and crew. I'm guessing that with the 2 issues a month summer schedule and the lack of consistent artist and just the general fatigue of having written 15 years worth of X-Men comics, Claremont was just basically mailing in the scripts at this point.

Kind of like how I'm just mailing in this posts!

So Forge meets some black cop lady, Charlotte, who Archangel starts poking later on EFF WIE EYE, and they have some ninja turtle-esque NYC sewer adventures while battling some Genoshan magistrates. Those Genoshans are fucking dicks!

Forge and copy lady win but Banshee and Jean Grey and the rest of X-Factor (who gest star) get beaten up by the Press Gang, some super powered Genoshan dicks. And amnesiac Colossus and beautified Calisto and the Genoshan runaways are also captured.

But the X-Men prevail. A duh.

Great, now it's Storm time. Just fucking great.

Also we're now done with 9 volume of Essential X-Men.  Only 2 more to go. THEN WHAT THE FUCK WILL I DO WITH MY FUCKING LIFE?????????