X-MEN 272: GABIDLE GRYMZ EGGS THINK SHIN AH GEM DUH BARD ZEBIN

BALD CHICKS ARE HOT PRETTY MUCH NEVER, BUT I GUESS STORM IS MAKING IT WORK HERE. 

 

CABLE ALSO APPEARS TO HAVE A SPARE BLUE TOOTH ATTACHED TO HIS HIP. FUCKING LOVES HIS BLUE TOOTH THAT GUY CABLE.

CLAREMONT HAS BEEN SETTING UP HIS ISSUES OF THE CROSSOVERS (SO THE NON CRAP ISSUES) WITH BROADCAST NEWS SEGMENTS. HERE HE DOES THE MULTIPLE INTERVIEW THING AND INCLUDES A BUNCH OF EASTER EGGY JOKES. I'VE POINTED OUT THE ONES I CAN FIGURE.

NO IDEA WHO LUCAS HAMILTON IS. STILL, VERY GOOD FUN. ESPECIALLY THE PUNISHER, WHOSE IDENTITY MUST BE INFERRED.

THESE DOUBLE SPREAD PAGES ARE PRETTY TITS. ONE OF JIM LEE'S MANY HOMAGES TO THE JOHN BYRNE DAYS.

SOMETIMES EVEN WOLVERINE GETS HIS ASS HANDED TO HIM (ALTHOUGH HERE IT'S ONLY AFTER HIS MUTANT POWERS HAVE BEEN REMOVED AND HIS HANDS CUFFED BEHIND HIS BACK).

GOD DAMN JIM LEE IS FUCKING AWESOME.

PRETTY MUCH ALL THE X-BAGS HAVE BEEN CAPTURES BTW.

CAMERON HODGE MAKES WOLVERINE AND ARCHANGEL FIGHT EACH OTHER IN A PIT MATCH, BECAUSE HE'S FUCKING CRAZY.

SOME COMIC RELEIF. WONDERFUL BODY LANGUAGE BY LEE.

GAMBIT SHOWS OFF HIS LEET SKILLZ.

PYSLOCKE HAS A GUN. SHE ALSO FORMS AN UNEASY ALLIANCE WITH THE CHIEF MAGISTRATE LADY AS CAMERON HODGE IS NOW TOO FUCKING CRAZY EVEN FOR THE GENOSHANS.

TOTALLY NUCKIN FUTS.

Ain't never shoulda gotten in bed with Cameron Hodge, Genoshans. Sure, you're pissed at the X-Men for harboring escaped mutates. And Hodge hates mutants as much as anyone (more the most even), but did you not notice the giant robotic spider slug carapace his undead severed head is attached too? It's an unholy creation literally crafted by demons. Probably not the best guy to form an alliance with.

Things are looking pretty bleak for the X-Pals, as nearly all of them have been captured after their plans are foiled by Hodge. They're about to stand trial for capital crimes (hey that's the title of this issue!) and most likely executed. Luckily for them , all the high ranking Genoshans start turning against Hodge, and the reluctant new allies start their big counter offensive against abject psychopath Hodge.

Jim Lee continues killing it on a scale heretofore unknown to the comics industry. So very glad he never took his talents to, say, the movie or video game industry and instead drew X-Men comic books in the late 80's and early 90's. Luckily for us fanboys, video games back then were still stuck in 8-bit territory, and his skills would have been wasted on VGA garbage. Nowadays I imagine similar talents get scooped up to be the art director for the next Halo franchise.

Anyway, that's the end of Claremont's contributions to the X-tinction Agender. Two more total ass issues of New Mutants and X-Factor follow, which consist solely of X-Men and Hodge slugging it out in a rather boring and predictable manner. Except at the end, rather than, like, ripping Hodge's head to tiny pieces and reducing him to paste, they just throw his head at a collapsing building and decide it being buried under the rubble is good enough.

What the fuck? Idiots. He's already been decapitated once, and he made a deal with demons to come back from the dead and become some unkillable monster. You need to do better than that. Assholes.

Whatever, not my problem. Hodge will come back well after Claremont's last issue as part of some dumb shit called the Phalanx Covenant. That's when I really started checking out.

Also Storm is back to an adult (thankfully - I know it was probably an editorial dictum against Claremont's will, but adolescent Storm was a terrible idea from the start. I am glad it is over) and everyone gets their powers back.

Next issue a new status quo is established and Claremont's basically like, all right, you guys think you know better, you run the comic book, I'm outta here.