When we last saw our intrepid mutant heroes, the X-men, they were floating around space, about to die, until... they are saved by the Sentinels? Yup, Evil Dr. Lang sent his evil robots out to rescue the X-Men because... he wanted to kill them later, at a more convenient time? Seriously, I have no idea. It's never explained and makes for a pathetic cop-out of last issue's cliffhanger. Dr. Lang had earlier swore that he would wipe out ALL of mutant-kind, by the way. Just so fucking stupid.
Anyway, half the X-men are now alive and back in the evil space station and the other half go up to rescue them in another space ship with Prof X and his buddy Dr. Corbeau. I have no idea who the fuck Dr. Corbeau is but apparently he shows up in the Incredible Hulk and knows a lot about science. This new space ship rams it's way into the space station. The X-Men jump out and immediately start fucking up Sentinels. They fight there way toward Dr. Lang until they are confronted with... The OLD X-MEN! *GASP*.
This issue is pretty bad, and the sooner I'm done talking about it, the sooner I get to treat myself to a delicious $1 double cheeseburger from fuckin Burger King. God damn I love that promotion.
Here is page 12 (not counting ads), panel 4, of Colossus and Nightcrawler fighting Sentinels and looking like homos.
Apologies for the homophobic slurs but there is no other way to describe this scene but complete and utter faggotry. I'll try to refrain from using such base and offensive terms as much as possible. Couldn't be helped in this case.A while bunch of weird shit was packed into this issue, like:
- There are word bubbles on the cover, even though it shows the X-Men in deep space where sound cannot travel.
- The X-Men are saved when the Sentinels envelop them in big clear bubbles called "ATMO-SPHERES". groan.
- It is a nice touch to see a fake new broadcast about the brewing anti-mutant hysteria and the political fall-out mutant shennanigans cause (the defining conflict of the Claremont era), andthe broadcaster that made the report was none other than Geraldo fucking Rivera. Yes, that Geraldo. And no, I am not looking up what Gerado was doing in the late 70's, nor do I care. That's just how fucking wierd things get in comics, dude. Deal with it.
- On the way up in space, Colossus gets, SPACE SICKNESS. A harbinger of one of the best Ren & Stimpy episodes, no doubt.
- A random lawyer in Ireland is blasted to death with a cane! It's a one page foreshadow of villain-to-come, Black Tom Cassidy, whom we meet at the end of issue 101. Oh wait, SPOILER ALERT. Sorry about that.
- Space battles are always a welcome sight.
- Except when Storm uses who powers (which is the control over weather) to manipulate "solar wind" and destroy a Sentinel. Come on, man. What the fuck is that about?
- Nightcrawler fights like a complete queer. Sorry! Sorry, I know. But I'm looking at his acrobatic 'attacks' right now and he looks like a complete fucking jackass.
- And then there's a lot of standing around and talking and then the final page is a splash of the old and new X-Pals facing off.
This whole book felt like a bunch of random crap Claremont wanted to cram in so he could set up the next issue, big number one hundred, with the big showdown between the X-teams. It's a neat idea, but it makes for a pretty shitty pre-fight issue, as this one is definitely pretty shitty.
So who wins? Well, me, obviously, as I am about to go eat a fucking double cheeseburger. Yes!
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