X-Men 157: Hide-'N'-Skeet

WHAT WE LEARNED IN THE THIS ISSUE ABOUT TAKING COVER AND MASTURBATING:

DAVE COCKRUM REALLY LOVES DESIGNING COSTUMES.

BY THE BLACK FUCKIN NEBULA, ADMIRAL LORD SAMEDAR IS A TOTAL DICKHEAD!

KITTY PRYDE PRETENDS TO UNSTOPPABLE GENOCIDAL PLANET KILLER, DARK PHOENIX, IN ORDER TO GET THE SHI'AR IMPERIAL GUARD TO HELP FIGHT ON THE X-MEN'S SIDE AND IT WORKS.

OR AT LEAST HALF OF THEM, WHO THEN THEY FIGHT THE OTHER HALF WITH NIGHTCRAWLER, KITTY PRYDE, WHO LOSE AND ASSHOLE SAMEDAR FIRES A DEATH RAY AT EARTH, BUT THE X-BAGS AND BUTTJAMMERS HAVE FIXED THE STUDRAMMER SPACESHIP IN TIME AND IT BLOCKS THE SHOT AND THEN LILANDRA APPEARS AND THE EVIL REBEL FORCES ARE STOPPED AND THE X-TARDS GO BACK TO EARTH.

The issue was already mostly recapped above. The Brood and Deathbird aren't really dealt with, but that's handled later on, in a much better space arc. It's a continuation of this storyline but there are some filler issues in between (that are better than the preceding issues I've just read) and the second half of the story is also superior.

Also we get some welcome guest artists coming up. Cockrum has his strengths, like costume design, but his art in this run has been flat and uninspired. Even worse than it was when he first drew the X-Men. I've heard he was a slow penciler so maybe the monthly pace hindered his work. On the other hand, god fuck it all.

Also of note, plotwise, we now know that the Brood need the X-Fruits as 'breeders' to serve the 'mother of all of us'. It's funny cause the Brood are clearly rip-offs of ALIEN the movie but a lot of their features seem more like cribs from ALIENS, except that movie is years away from being made and the multiple aliens + mother alien, while perhaps implied by scenes in the first movie, aren't yet explicit to that franchise. So really Dave, er... JAMES Cameron is a pathetic fraud and a hack, but we all knew that by now, didn't we? (from how he totally stole Terminator 2 from Days of Future Past, right?)

This issue ends real anti-climatically, with the major threat fizzling out in half a page without a big pay off. It is, however, strongly suggested that Xavier's been infected by the Brood and is pretty fucked up at the end of the issue, which, as a cliffhanger, thankfully isn't resolved in the first few pages of the next issue. It actually is played up nicely over the next several issues (or so, I'm not totally sure). Anyway, fuck this space shit, back on Earth next issue.

ERF BABY. EE - AR - EF!