X-Men 147: ROGUE STORMy Daniels - yes, that is the best I could do

WHAT WE LEARNED THIS ISSUE:

TWO HENCHMEN PALS: PHIL AND TOBE

PHIL SAYS HE "HIRED ON WITH DOOM" I WONDER HOW THAT HAPPENS. WANT ADS IN THE PAPER? IS THERE A HENCHMAN JOB PLACEMENT SERVICE? WHATS THE BENEFIT PACKAGE LOOK LIKE? HAVE THEY EVER TRIED UNIONIZING? WOULD DOOM TOLERATE PRELIMINARY NEGOTIATIONS OR WOULD HE SKIP STRAIGHT TO VAPORIZING THEM? THE QUESTIONS GENERATED FROM ONE BIT OF THROWAWAY DIALOG IS STAGGERING.

WORST ENDING EVER? NO, WORST MOTHERFUCKING ENDING EVER.

WHO DOESN'T LOVE THIS LINE FROM SHAVING RYAN'S PRIVATES?

More useless recap: Another stinker. Not a total waste but the ending really killed it for me.

First, all the X-Men escape Doom and Arcade's silly overly elaborate prisons traps with relative ease (DUH). Then Wolverine and Nightcrawler fuck Doom's shit up in a matter of 2 pages (I DONT THINK SO, DOOM IS WAY TOO POWERFUL protests the Mayor of Dorktown). Then Storm is released from being encased in organic chrome, or whatever the fuck it was, and goes crazy, with many blatant and hackneyed references to the Dark Phoenix Saga that took place no less than 10 issues ago. Strom gets her PMS under control and life moves on. Finally, the piece of shit ending has all the X-Men and the two villains, who were just about to fucking murder each other, apologizing and shaking hands. FUCKING TERRIBLE. AND I'M NOT KIDDING. THEY ALL APOLOGIZE AND GO HOME. NO REPERCUSSIONS FOR DOOM AND ARCADE FOR MASSIVE AMOUNTS OF KIDNAP AND ATTEMPTED MURDER.

I'm glad the X-Men are running the fucking CIA, because if they ever caught Bin Laden they'd just make him apologize to the city of New York and then send him back to whatever fucking cave they drug him out of.

Fucking ridiculous.

Theres a decent bit in the beginning about Nightcrawler using his teleportation powers and Wolverine has a cool flashback and generally kicks ass this whole issue, but other than that, not much to get excited about. And of course I love the bit where two of Doom's henchmen act like real people. I loved it when Claremont did that with the Hellfire club henchmen too, because the whole concept is absurd, but if you accept a world where people born with super powers decide to wear brightly colored tights and fight crime, then I'm sure in that world there can exists a system where adequate criminal labor can be supplied to evil villains bent on global domination.

And then another cliff hanger where Cyclops and Lee find a giants alien looking castle on their'deserted' island, interrupted for what was about to be some well deserved rebound poonanie for Cyke-dude.