What we learned this issue other than that Gojira, Space Cruiser Yamato, Astro Boy, Red Ronin and the Hulk are nothin but dirty bitches.
THE X-DONGS ARE BACK FROM THE SECRET WHORES (WARS) AND THEY HAVE A GREAT BIG FUCKING DRAGON WITH THEM.
THAT DRAGON FUCKS TOKYO RIGHT THE FUCK UP. AND IT WANTS KITTY'S PET MALE DRAGON TO STUFF HIS GENITALS INTO HER LADY DRAGON PARTS.
I THOUGH GENITALS WAS SPELLED WITH AN E. OH WELL, LIVE AND LEARN.
JAPAN TRIES TO SEND THEIR ARMY TO STOP THIS GIANT HORNY DRAGON. OH WAIT, YOU DON'T HAVE A FUCKIN ARMY, JAPAN. YOU LOST THAT PRIVILEGE, DIDN'T YOU? BUT AT LEAST YOU HAVE CARS WITH SHITTY BREAKS AND TENTACLE PORN STILL GOING FOR YOU.
THAT ASSHOLE SUNFIRE SHOWS UP.
SUNFIRE TRULY IS A BUTTFUCKING SONOVABITCH.
THE DRAGON FUCKS OFF AND "CASUALTIES AND LOSS OF LIFE WERE KEPT TO A MINIMUM." WELL FUCKING GREAT. NO THANKS TO YOU, LOCKHEED, YOU FUCKING BITCH ASS DRAGON FUCK.
There is a brief, Cyclops and Madelyne Pryor interlude, in which Claremont shows off his bizarre sense of pillow talk.Maddy: I guess this is what they meant by "for better, for worse."
Cyclops: Could be. I love you, Red.
Maddy: Likewise, Hotshot. 'Til death do us part.
It would've been funnier if Madelyne said, 'til death do us fart! And then cut loose are great flappy baritone blast from her anal sphincter. I mean I would have thought so, anyway.
This issue is a nice mix of silly, Tokyo monster fight + soap opera drama. I give two plumped melons up.
And then at the very end, that dickhead to end all dickheads and also the tip to a previously never ending parade of dicks, Senator Robert Kelly tells some other old white dude in Washington, DC (hey, I fuckin live there), that he's going to introduce some legislation to defend our nation from mutants. Actually it all sounds pretty reasonable. I don't see what the big fuckin deal is.
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