X-Men Annual 6: PUD FEUD

What we learned in this 100th fuggin Balzac's Ballsack post. Shit.

THE X-DONGS FIGHT DRACULA AGAIN AND DRACULA IS A TOTAL DICK.

ALSO FIGHTING DRACULA: A YOUNG, ATTRACTIVE, BLONDE GIRL WHO COMES FROM AN ANCIENT LINEAGE OF VAMPIRE FIGHTERS. YES, JOSS WHEDON IS A BLATANT THIEVING HACK AS WELL.

KITTY IS PMS'ING ALL OVER THE PLACE BECAUSE HER PARENTS GOT A DIVORCE. HEY, BIG DEAL BITCH, NOW YOU CAN GET THEM TO COMPETE FOR YOUR AFFECTION AND EMOTIONALLY EXTORT FREE MONEY AND SHIT FROM THEM. QUIT YER PISSIN AND MOANIN ALREADY.

AND THEN THE X-FONDLERS GET CAUGHT BETWEEN THE AGE OLD FEUD OF DRACULA VS THE VAN HELSINGS VS DRACULA'S WHORE DAUGHTER LILITH VS THE SHAFT OF A LONG LEAN PUD VS THE HAIRY NUT BAG UNDERNEATH THAT PUD THATS LOADED WITH WHITE HOT PUD JUICE VS OK THAT'S E-FUGGIN-NUFF.

THEN THE FEMALE VAN HELSING AND FUTURE BUFFY PROTOTYPE DIES AND SO DOES DRACULA... OR DOES HE? AND THE X-PUDS ARE ALL FINE AT THE END EVEN THOUGH A BUNCH OF THEM GOT THEIR BLOOD SUCKED SLASH STRAIGHT UP POSSESSED BY FUCKIN VAMPIRES.

OH HEY LOOK ITS THAT DINGUS WRINKLE DRACULA NOW:

This was a pretty cool annual but only event of lasting importance was Rachel Van Helsing's death, and that was only a big deal if you follow the Dracula comics from the 70's (I don't), though I hear they were a pretty big deal at the time. It's 1982 now, though, and Dracula is old fuckin news. It's all capes and tights in the Marvel Universe now, so a major Dracula supporting character earns life's great reward rather ignominiously.

For the rest of the X-Men, it's a one and done annual with the only impact to continuity being the divorce of Kitty Pryde's parents. But who gives a shit about that little brat's parents? Not this guy.

The art's handled pretty righteously by Bill Seinkiewicz and Bob Wiacek and I totally had to look up the spelling of their names, though I don't know why I bothered.

And now I'm going to go watch that blowhard James Cameron's masterpiece, True Lies, on TBS, even though that movie is all dumb. Like I give a bull crap.

Next issue, back to the regular issues, damn it!