I JUST REALIZED FORGE'S NAME IS A PUN ON A BLACKSMITH'S FORGE, AT WHICH ONE WOULD FASHION NEW WEAPONS OF STEEL.
FOR A BLACK WIND FIRE AND STEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEL!!!!!!!!
ACTUALLY DO FEEL KIND OF STUPID ABOUT THAT ONE. THATS LIKE, 20+ YEARS OF NOT GETTING VERY OBVIOUS WORDPLAY.
WHATEVER, BACK IN MY DAY, RAD NEW CHARACTERS HAD NAMES THAT DIDN'T MEAN A GOD DAMN THING, LIKE DEADPOOL, CABLE AND DOMINO. AND THEIR POWERS WERE ILL DEFINED AND THEIR COSTUMES HAD RANDOM SHOULDER PADS AND TONS OF POCKETS FILLED WITH NOTHING. AND VERY TINY FEET!
THOSE WOULD BE ALL ROB LIEFELD CREATIONS BY THE WAY.
OKAY ENOUGH REMINISCING. WE'VE A FAIRLY SHITTY COMIC TO READ!
GOD I HOPE THIS ISSUE HAS MORE TENTACLE PORN.
SOME MORE FREAKS HERE.
HEY I JUST THOT OF SOMETHING, WHERE DOES A WOMEN KEEP HER TAMPONS? IN HER PURSEY! HAHA. OK MAYBE NOT. MOVING ON.
IT COST A BUCK OF FIVE. HAHA TEAM AMERICA. GOOD ONE DYNAMO.
Or does it?
So Forge and Mouthless Banshee and The Many Tentacled Jean Grey go into the Morlock tunnels and rescue amnesiac Peter Nicholas nee Rasputin from Masque, the evil Morlock. Masque escapes but not before Forge saves the day because he can invent Deus Ex Machinas at will.
And the big twist is....... Colossus' dream girl is really former Morlock turned X-Man ally Calisto! You see, Masque took Calisto, a one eyed, gross looking tom boy, and turned her into a gorgeous model with massive fun bags. But everyone else he turned into hideous goblin creatures. SEE HOW IT IS A TWIST?!?!
Not sure if we see Colossus ever again but he's been basically written out of the comic book, to live happily ever after with Calisto, no matter if she turns fugly again, Colossus only cares about what's inside. Inside her sweet sweet poonany of course. No just kidding, Colossus has the heart of gold. He just needed her to be hot to be attracted at first, then she could let her looks go. Kinda like real people!
And what else? Well, the art is not good. And Forge has more Nam flashbacks. And Jean Grey actually kind of likes having tentacles. And fed agent Dr Valarie Cooper hangs out with her Russian counterpart in some douche Washington DC night club. HEY MAYBE IT'S FUR. FUCK FUR.
K I'm done. Not sure why I'm putting these up at such a torrid pace but maybe I'm just trying to get these pre Jim Lee's over with. Either way, dunzo.
No comments:
Post a Comment