I choose pie! 3 cheers for sweet delicious pie and slavery!
WHAT THE BLACK NEBULA TAUGHT US TODAY:
A WHOLE BUNCH OF SHIT ABOUT GIANT SINGING ALIEN SPACE WHALES THAT I DONT MUCH FEEL LIKE EXPLAINING.
ONCE AGAIN, THE X-MEN SUCK AT BEING HEROES AND ARE SAVED BY A BUNCH OFDEUS EX MACHINA, INCLUDING GO-TO EX MACHINA FAVS, THE RIM JOBBERS, I MEAN STARJAMMERS.
THE STARJAMMERS' ROBOT HELICOPTER MEDIC TALKS LIKE YODA, EXCEPT MORE STUPID.
HEY WHO WANTS AN EXAMPLE OF THE STUPID YODA TALK? YOU DO? GREAT! HERE YOU GO: "PHYSICIAN, YOURS, AM I CURSED TO BE! IF NOT YOU, MY ORDERS OBEY, THEN RESPONSIBILITY I DENY, YOUR HEALTH THE STATE OF!"
WOOF. LOOK, IF YOU'RE GOING TO REVERSE THE STANDARD SUBJECT, VERB, OBJECT SENTENCE FORMATION THEN JUST FUCKING DO IT. DON'T FUCK AROUND WITH IT SO MUCH NO ONE KNOWS WHAT THE FUCK YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT, SHIT.
KITTY'S FIRST MEETING WITH LOCKHEED IS A VERY TOUCHING MOMENT INDEED
Near as I can tell, the moral of this story is if you are ever infected by some evil alien sleazeoids (holy jesus is that a stupid word), your best bet it to plunge headlong into the alien scum's home planet, hoping some random ass shit will happen to save your ass, and if not, at least you're already at your new home with your new alien scum friends and relatives.
Because that basically what the X-Lumps do. There's also some dumb allegory about space whales and their souls being exploited by the Brood, like how humans exploit animals, I think. Or maybe not, who cares. Anyway, the X-Men walk into the "soul" of the Acanti, the singing space whales, and it cures them of the Brood's infection that was going to turn them into more Brood and then Binary and The Starslappers come and rescue them. And Kitty finds a pet fire breathing dragon because Kitty has no offensive powers and Claremont and the artists were getting tired of figured out what to do with Kitty's faggoty ass during battles, so now she can just have the dragon fuck shit up for her.
Speaking of artists, Paul Smith kicks more ass this issue. It sucks for Dave Cockrum that Smith finishes a 5 or 6 issue storyline for him because it's pretty easy to compare the two and come the conclusion that Paul Smith stomps a muddy butthole all over Dave Cockrum.
But at least Cockrum can say he helped create the motherfuckers, so don't feel too bad for him. Oh, also he's dead, so he doesn't mind, because he can't.
There was some other shit in this issue too (it was a double sized special, after all) but it's late and I forget and I don't feel like flipping back through the pages. Oh i remember one now, CLaremont uses the word "selfsame" for the first time, as far as I remember, which is funny because he uses it a lot and it's totally not a word at all.
Good issue though, despite a lot of fruity exposition about the space whales and what not.
Next issue, we go back to the Planit Erf! So long, fuckin space!
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