X-Men 194: TUCK HER BALLS BACK IN TWEEN HER LEGS

What we learn this issue besides that I'd like to see some JUGS! JUGS! JUGS! JUGS!

JUGGERNAUT IS BACK IN NEW YORK AND HERE'S HERE TO DO SOME MOTHERFUCKING BANKING.

NIGHTCRAWLER IS HAVING A CRISIS OF CONFIDENCE.

KITTY PR- I MEAN SHADOWCAT, LISTENS TO NPR. NERD.

I'M GUESSING SINCE ROGUE CAN NEVER HAVE MEANINGFUL PHYSICAL CONTACT WITH ANOTHER HUMAN THAT SHE'S QUITE THE ACCOMPLISHED ONANIST.

STORM WANDERS INTO THE MIDDLE OF AN APARTHEID ERA KENYAN SAFARI AND DISCOVERS A BUNCH OF RACISTS! BUT NOT OBAMA'S DAD.

STORM LOST HER POWERS BUT SHE'S PRETTY HANDY WITH THE STEEL IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN. SHE'S NOT JUST SOME GEEK OFF THE STREET.

GAYROD, I MEAN NIMROD, JUST MIGHT BE INTO DUDES.

JUGGIE'S GOT SOME INDIGESTION.
RUSSIA HAS THEIR OWN NICK FURY, SOME KGB SPOOK NAMES COLONEL VASHIN. HE EVEN HAS ONE EYE. BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM THEY HAVE A COMPLETE SET, BUT STILL A GRAND TOTAL OF ZERO TESTICLES.

The dumbest named villain in history, Nimrod, the giant pink robot from an alternate future, finally lets loose, and more or less kicks the shit out of Juggernaut. Luckily, the X-Man feel like getting over their angsty asses and leave their cushy upstate mansion to save his thieving butt.

It takes Rouge sorbing the combined power of Colossus, Shadowcrap and Nitekrawler to be able to defeat Dimrod, but she's unable to finish the job and a crippled Nipplerod teleports away before the X-Wads figure out just what the hell is going on.

The interlude to the fight see Storm finally getting to Africa and beating up some racist tourists, or may or may not be super villains that come back to fight her later, I forget.

Then we meet this Vashin guy in the epilogue that I don't remember much about or if we've seen hi before or if he's very important later. All he does is sit at a desk and tell his friend Sasha that he's aware of fucking mutants in America. So I guess we'll just fucking see then, won't we.