X-Men 192: FUN n' GAMES n' SHIT

What we learn this issue besides that the kids these days are all into their fuckin fun and fuckin games and fuckin Buckaroo Banzai and other god damn bullshit.

WARLOCK, OF THE NEW MUTANTS, IS AN ALIEN THAT CONSISTS OF A SENTIENT TECHNO-ORGANIC TRANSMODE VIRUS WHOSE DAD WANTS TO MURDER HIS FUCKING ASS.

WHAT THE FUCK DOES TECHNO-ORGANIC TRANSMODE VIRUS?

NIGHTCRAWLER, ROGUE AND COLOSSUS ARE JUST ROUGH HOUSING UNTIL THINGS TAKE AN UNEXPECTED, AND SEXY, TURN.

THEN COLOSSUS SPOTS SOMETHING THAT RAPIDLY ADJOURNS THEIR FRIVOLITIES.
BOOBIES AND ALSO WARLOCK'S DAD, THE INTERGALACTIC BUTTCAKE KNOWN AS MAGUS, LANDING ON ERF.

FASHION IN THE MID 80'S WAS FUCKING TERRIBLE.

THE X-WADS AND MAGUS MIX THINGS UP, ROUGH AND TUMBLE STYLE, UNTIL MAGUS SURPRISES EVERYONE WITH A BELCH.
XAVIER CATCHES A MASSIVE BEAT DOWN. PRETTY MUCH FOR NO REASON. I MEAN BESIDES BEING A MOTHERFUCKING BALD MOTHERFUCKER THAT IS.
I'm not sure if maybe it was revealed before in The Newd Mewtants or some other comic book but we finally learn why the hell this unholy spawn of Cyclops and Marvel Girl from an aborted future is ditzing around the main Marvel Universe, shitting everything up with her retarded haircut and habitually lachrymose countenance. And the reason is Kitty Pryde. Aborted future Kitty Pryde is the culprit. So thanks a bitchload fuckin Kitty.

Wolverine and real Kitty are back from Japan. Fun flight that must have been. I flew from the east coast to Japan before. It fucking sucked. Going there was great, I had a whole row to myself and was able to stretch out and relax. Coming home meant being wedged in between annoying, gibberish spouting asian families and broke ass business travelers who can't fly first class. It was all cool thought because I got really drunk in Japan for a week. It's like being inside a Nintendo.

Blah blah blah, lots of talking and drama and fighting and eventually Magus runs away because Nightcrawler, Colossus and Rogue do a pretty decent job beating the fuck out of him. Then Xavier gets punished. It's actually pretty gruesome. Frankly I'm shocked at the level violence depicted in a mid 80s comic book. If I didn't posses a insatiable, vampiric lust for blood myself I might even be outraged.

So anyway, Xavier's near dead body is dragged away. probably by one of those fucking Morlocks (k just checked, it is the fucking Morlocks) and the sweet bros who wailed on him go to a bar and get loaded.

ADVANTAGE: BROS.