X-Men 211: ASS ACRE Mmm.....

What we learn this issue because know we know, 'cause we're John Doe, in a black bag a tag on our toe. 

IT'S JUST ANOTHER BODY MURDER!!!

WOLVERINE WANTS BLOOD. LOOK AT HIM. READY FOR SOME ULTRA VIOLENCE FOR SURE.

 I DON'T KNOW WHY WARREN BUFFET IS THERE EITHER BUT HE SEEMS TO BE HAVING A GOOD TIME.

ANYWAY, SO THE MARAUDERS ARE JUST RUNNING AROUND THE MORLOCKS' SECRET TUNNELS KILLING THE DICK OUT OF EVERYONE.

I'M NOT EVEN KIDDING. THIS GUY SCALPHUNTER HAS BIG GUNS AND HE LOVES POINTING THEM AT PEOPLE AND PULLING THE TRIGGER TILL IT GOES CLICK.

MEANWHILE, THE X-FELLERS ARE JUST SHOOTIN THE BREEZE OUT ON THE OLD FARM, USING THREE BLADES TO CUT A PITCHFORK INTO FIVE PIECES SOMEHOW.

SERIOUSLY, FART THE HECK?

THEN SOME GIANT PURPLE COW MUTANT BURROWS ALL THE WAY TO THE X-MANSHUN, TELL THE X-HOLES ALL THE MORLOCKS ARE GETTING MASSACRED AND THEN DIES. GROSS.

THE X-DONGS FINALLY DRAG THEIR LAZY ASSETS TO THE TUNNELS AND START FIGHTING THE MARAUDERS. IT'S A GOOD FIGHT. AND SCALPHUNTER SHOWS HE REALLY DOES LOVE SHOOTING PEOPLE WITH HIS AWESOME GUNS.

THERE IS A STUNNING AMOUNT OF VIOLENCE IN THIS ISSUE.

INCLUDING THE 3 MOST BAD ARSE PANELS COLOSSUS WILL EVER BE IN.

HOO BOY THAT ARE DROPPIN BODIES IN THIS ISSUE!

Seriously, this issue is incredible. It's just brutal murder after brutal murder. The Marauders show up and start annihilating the Morlocks, then the X-Men show up and they get punished, then the X-Men manage to slaughter a Marauder or two.

The art definitely suffers with Brett Blevins handling a lot of the pages, and while I often enjoy his work here he looks lost. This may have been a deadline rush job which may explain the often confusing flow and puzzling artistic choices. The Marauders outfits, for example, are all over the place and generally a mess. But whatever, there is still ownage dripping from just about every panel.

Also importantly to continuity, Nightcrawler and Shadowcat get pummeled so badly they never again fight for the X-Men until after they've frigged off to England to be in the super hero group Excalibur for like ten more years.

Anyway, now Wolverine is hella pissed and he's going to spend all next issue lurking about the tunnels sniffing out vengeance. I can't wait to see if he finds any!