X-MEN 109: HOME ARE THE FUGGIN GYROS

The fuggin heroes return home! And they've got alien bird empress fuckin Lilandra with them! She loves Xavier and fucking Banshee loves Moira Mactaggart, who used to love fuggin Xavier! But it's cool bro. And Storm fucking showers naked in the X-mansion's attic while Jean Grey's parents want to know what the fuck is going on! So Phoenix explains in a fuggin flashback! Then Nightcrawler gets a date, Colossus broods and Cyclops fuckin bitches angstily! Then Storm, Colossus, Banshee and Moira go fucking picnicing while fuckin Wolverine hunts a fucking deer! Then Weapon Alpha attacks Wolverine and the fight! FUCK. But Banshee and Colossus and fuckin Storm come to help Wolverine out and Weapon Alpha gets the fuck out of there. That fuckin it!

Really strong issue by Byrne and Claremont. Now that the space saga is over, Claremont show's the X-Men settling in around the mansion and explores the more mundane aspects of being a superhero mutant in the modern world. So while it might sound lame as shit reading a scene where Cyclops and Nightcrawler discuss responsibility and melancholy in one of the mansion's many studies, it actually makes for onee of the more interesting scenes in the book so far. And Byrne's ability to draw simple realistic backgrounds and settings is under rated, but very much appreciated. His heroes don't look nearly as "posed" as Cockrum's.

And then Captain Maple Leaf the boner king of Canadia comes in and fucks with Wolverine for trying to leave the Canadian Weapon X program. That's right, already with the mysterious origin of Wolverine! Man, all this talk of the great white North makes me want to chug some tree sap and molest a grizzly bear!

Actually, I have to start the second semester of my first year in business school in seven and a half hours so I'm going to stop writing about Bronze age super hero comic books and go to bed. and thats why this recap totally sucks a space needle sized bone rod. But you want to know what else? Canadians are bunch beady eyed pussies. Go sit on a hockey stick you great big stinking piles of moose shit.