X-Men 215: Old Soldier's Balls

What we learn this issue besides that Storm just stood there and stared, at his big, beautiful, hairy balls just floppin around holy jeez she wanted to lick em.  

OH BOY, MORE ASSHOLES FOR THE SUCKFEST.

LOOK AT THE COLORS ON THAT COVER. IT IS TRULY HIDEOUS.

IN CASE ANYONE WAS UNCLEAR ABOUT CLAREMONT'S INTENTIONS ON USING MADELYN PRYOR AS BACK-DOOR REINCARNATION OF JEAN GREY BEFORE HIS LONG TERM PLANS GOT HIJACKED BY EDITORS.

FOR THE RECORD, WOLVERINE'S BALLS ARE JUST FINE.

OH THESE TWO.

HEY ASSHOLES, HERE ARE SOME MORE ASSHOLES FOR YOUR BIG SUCKFEST TONIGHT.

Storm never should have booked at a room at the International Inn when the big suckfest was going on with all those assholes. Man that's the best part of Reno 911: Miami.

More transitioning this issue, as stuck-as-an-intangible-ghost Kitty Pryde, fucked-the-fuck-up Nightcrawler and stuck-in-metal-form and paralyzed Colossus fly off to Muir Island with Rogue, Dazzler, this fuckin new guy Longshot, and Callisto. So long assholes.

That just leaves Wolverine and shitty, depowered Storm. Wolverine freaks out because he smells Jean Grey, who was ret-conned back to life and is being very slowly reintroduced to X-Bags. She doesn't appear in this comic though. Just her scent. Wolverine is like Multiple Migs from Silence of the Lambs that way. As agent Starling recalled, he can smell her cunt. QUID PRO QUO DOCTOR LECTER.

Wolverine flips out so hard he punches Storm and knocks her old cold (yeah I don't know why either). When Storm wakes up she finds she has been kidnapped by some lunatics who thinks she is a thief and an arson. To punish this criminal, these geezers propose Storm runs into the woods so they can hunt her down and execute her. The crusty old bastards are WWII vets you see, and have super powers, and they are pissed off that the US government told them to retire after WWII ended. So now they murder drug dealers and such.

FUCKING COOL, RIGHT? I wish I was one of these fucked up, geriatric super jerks.

There's a brief fight before they cut Storm and some other random bitch loose for the hunt, but that'll have to wait for next issue. Not an action packed issue but pretty good nonetheless. And Alan Davis' art is excellent.

NEXT ISSUE: NATURE'S DEADLIEST GAME: BONERS.