What we learn this issue besides that all Native Americans must be imbued with magical powers.
LOOK AT THIS RUH-TARD.
ITS A METAPHOR
HEY WOLVERINE, WHERE'D YOU GET THAT HAT? AT THE JERK HAT STORE WHERE YOU ARE THEIR BEST CUSTOMER?
OH YOU TWO
I ACTUALLY HAVE BEEN TO DALLAS BEFORE AND IT ACTUALLY SUCKS WIENERS
PUT SOME CLOTHES ON YOU SAVAGE
WISTFUL GAZING COMES NATURALLY WHEN YOU'RE STONED OFF YOUR GORD.
KEEP SMOKING WOLVERINE YOU ARE A ROLE MODEL FOR US ALL
This was not that sweet of an issue. Mostly a rehash of what happened last time Storm hung out at Forge's stupid Eagle Plaza in stupid fucking Dallas Texas.
But first there is some dream sequence thing were some eagles or hawks or whatever are fucking. Then one of the eagles turns into ROBO EAGLE and kills the mohawked eagle. VERY SUBTLE CLAREMONT.
Then Storm badgers Wolverine, who was last seen losing his god damn mind in the fucking woods, to come back and lead the the X-Men. Yeah that makes sense, lets get the insane berzerker with swords for hands to come lead a team of super heroes at their most vulnerable stage of existence. Storm does this because she wants to go hang out with her fuck buddy Forge, who she is still mad at for creating the gun that stripped her of her mutant powers. HEY STORM, FUCK ON YOUR OWN TIME, YOUVE GOT A SUPER HERO TEAM TO LEAD.
Seriously, nice timing you ovulating cow.
But Wolverine agrees to come back to the team anyway. So I guess he's fucking cured.
Then there's literally 6 pages of Storm walking through a hologram of events that took place 30 issues ago. I guess Claremont has to script everything again and Silvestri had to draw the pages new, but man, it sure did seem lazy. Like in Back to the Future II when Marty McFly witnesses scenes from the first movie. Hey, we already saw that shit, stop ripping us off you lazy creators.
The plot finally moves forward when the Red Indian Naze tells Storm that Forge has gone crazy because she dumped him and the two of them need to team up and save him. But Storm is reluctant to help. Frankly she's being rather cunty about the whole thing. Here's some actual dialog to illustrate my point:
Storm: The devil take you old man!
Old Indian man with the old balls and loose skin: Can't take what's already owned. Reign up woman!
Storm: Go to hades!
Wow, what a potty mouth. Chill out fuckin Storm.
But just as Wolverine acquiesced to Storm's incessant hectoring, so too does Storm relent to the Old Man's bullshit.
BUT THE OLD MAN IS REALLY EVIL.STORM YOU DUMMY, IT'S A FUCKIN TRAP!
The as of yet unseen but forebodingly alluded to ADVERSARY is in possession of Naze, and is tricking Storm into helping him fuck up Forge, who is some Pussy Harry Potter-like wizard shaman guy.
Man, the Adversary, Mr Sinister (who has also been endlessly name dropped but not yet materialized) - looks like it's a bad guys with shitty names convention.
Anyway, kind of a lame issue, like a said, but now things are set up for some serious fighting. Fucking time to get down to biznass X-Men.
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