Sunday, October 23, 2011

X-Men 219: Where Doody Lies

What we learn this issue beside people at the Hellfire Club just seem to enjoy hanging out in thier underwear.

FEAR BONERS

ANOTHER RAPE JOKE

THE FONT IS PROBABLY TOO SMALL

HAVOK WAKES UP, ONLY TO REALIZE......

 FOR THE RECORD I AGREE WITH HAVOK.

You know that dumb but catchy song, 'Moves like Jagger'? It's a much better song if during the chorus you substitute the lyrics for these:
   
     You've got nice boobs
     I'll have 'em
     You've got great boobs
     Now wag 'em
     You've some BOOooOOooobs
     Don't drag 'em

Much better, right?

A decent issue. There's a fill in artist. Brett Belvins, who I enjoy most of the time but he never made the leap to master level skill or recogniztion. As a fill in artist, he's also not as in sync with Claremont's style yet, and you end up with LOTS and LOTS of narration and dialog that explains exactly what all the characters are thinking and doing, like Claremont doesn't trust us to figure out exactly what he wants us to see in the drawings.

Anyway, for reasons that I guess can be chalked up to subtle mind manipulation but is probably just a plot hole or Havok being incomprehensibly retarded, Havok goes off on his own to find the X-Men because he had a bad dream about. He dreamt he got in a fight with them, and normally this trick would be a hackneyed cop out of trying to get heroes to fight each other used many times in comics, however, Havok does eventually find the X-men and does fight them when he finds them.

He also leaves his girlfriend, Polaris, home alone in New Mexico, where is promptly gets attacked by the murderous Marauders. After getting her ass beat up for a while she becomes possessed by the evil psychic entity Malice.

So now the sides have been set up. The all new all different X-Men vol 3 hav trickled in and now they are Wolveroonie, Sighlock, Rowg, Lawngshawd, Bedazzler and now Havok, led by the Mohogged Stormy. Their enemies are the possessed Lorna Dane, aka Malice and the rest of the Marauders. Magneto is a good guy and allies with the Hellfire Club.

Great, looks like its a real fucking comic book we got going. But shit it is late and this entry sucked but I'm goign to go to bed anyway.

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