Recap: The Prof and all 13 fuggin X-Bags are chilling in the X-Mansion. Sunfire, cause he's a dick, tells the Professor to fuck off and flys away. The rest of the new X-Men stay, as well as Cyclops, because he's a pussy, but all the other original X-Men also tell Xavier to get fucked, for no good reason except Angle says they are 'too old' or some bullshit. Wolverine starts shit and then Cyclops and Marvel Girl make out, which is a bold move for Cyke since he's in uniform and if he gets a boner there is NO hiding it in those yellow undies.
Cyclops then leads the new X-Dorks in some Danger Room exercises (pre Shiar technology upgrade when it was all random laser beams and big swinging mechanical rods). After weeks of practice Xavier tells them they all have a mission.
They mission the X-men are on is to rescue NORAD (I guess they had that in 1975), from Count Nefarious (if you are unsure whether he is good or bad, nefarious is a synonym for bad) and his Ani-Man. Count Nefarious dresses in a tuxedo, cape, cane and monocle. The Ani-Men are 5 anthropomorphic bad guys, specifically a frog-man, ape-man, bird-man, cat-man, and a butterfly-woman. Count Nefarious breaks into Norad by mailing a one of the military guys a remote control with a single button that says "PRESS ME". The doofus complies and a portal opens through which the Ani-Men enter right inside NORAD Operational Command. I am totally serious about all of that.
Count Nefarious enters next and gasses the enter base (but doesn't kill them, in a very gentlemanly move, Nefarious he just knocks them out and lets them catch up on some sorely needed Zs). With the base under his control, Cunt Nohairyus then holds the entire world for ransom, because that plan always works so well for evil masterminds.
The X-Males make a quick video call to the Beast, who has been on the Avengers for a while and forgot that he actually wasn't in GS X-Men #1 (my bad!), and the Beast looks really weird. Then the ALL NEW ALL DIFFERENT X-Men get in their SR-71 Blackbird and fly off to stop the Count. But the Count sees them coming and blows up the plane with a missle. So there goes 100 million bucks or so down the toilet. Good think Xavier's got a fully vested 401K.
The book ends on a cliffhanger with the X-Men falling in midair.
That was also way to long. Next time will be way briefer I swear.
He're page 5, panel 5 that i redrew and changed some of the dialog. Oh that rascally Wolverine! The only rules he plays by are his own!
Comments:- This Chris Claremont's first issue as the only writer. Claremont was the reason why I, and so many others, became die hard X-Men nerds.
- The issue is still pretty rough and silver-agey but the dialog, as cheesy and redundant as it is, is still a major upgrade from last issue. You can already see some of the Claremontisms starting, especially with the nicknames and random foreign words, just in case we forget that these new X-Men are international, like Godspodin Xaiver - which i guess is Russian for Professor Xaiver I guess.
- Overall though Claremont does a decent enough job mixing the goofy comic book stuff with the soap opera content.
- Eh, I think I got most of the comments in the recap. I'll try and split this up better next time. Whatever, formatting is for the gays.
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