When we last saw our intrepid mutant heroes, the X-men, they were floating around space, about to die, until... they are saved by the Sentinels? Yup, Evil Dr. Lang sent his evil robots out to rescue the X-Men because... he wanted to kill them later, at a more convenient time? Seriously, I have no idea. It's never explained and makes for a pathetic cop-out of last issue's cliffhanger. Dr. Lang had earlier swore that he would wipe out ALL of mutant-kind, by the way. Just so fucking stupid.
Anyway, half the X-men are now alive and back in the evil space station and the other half go up to rescue them in another space ship with Prof X and his buddy Dr. Corbeau. I have no idea who the fuck Dr. Corbeau is but apparently he shows up in the Incredible Hulk and knows a lot about science. This new space ship rams it's way into the space station. The X-Men jump out and immediately start fucking up Sentinels. They fight there way toward Dr. Lang until they are confronted with... The OLD X-MEN! *GASP*.
This issue is pretty bad, and the sooner I'm done talking about it, the sooner I get to treat myself to a delicious $1 double cheeseburger from fuckin Burger King. God damn I love that promotion.
Here is page 12 (not counting ads), panel 4, of Colossus and Nightcrawler fighting Sentinels and looking like homos.
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFK1KoBxaxFp5g1HVHqKDt-jpJVdIrpI-H5TJHpI4MAhksE1ijUtK4goZuMKzVYl4sLmdnCIr5NrXgGImQ2yQ0cHx_ds8-KZhR3TQ6uYARVzeo0LphrdnIiZ6GGvEW9UYMQf1CSGoX/s400/XMEN+99.bmp)
A while bunch of weird shit was packed into this issue, like:
- There are word bubbles on the cover, even though it shows the X-Men in deep space where sound cannot travel.
- The X-Men are saved when the Sentinels envelop them in big clear bubbles called "ATMO-SPHERES". groan.
- It is a nice touch to see a fake new broadcast about the brewing anti-mutant hysteria and the political fall-out mutant shennanigans cause (the defining conflict of the Claremont era), andthe broadcaster that made the report was none other than Geraldo fucking Rivera. Yes, that Geraldo. And no, I am not looking up what Gerado was doing in the late 70's, nor do I care. That's just how fucking wierd things get in comics, dude. Deal with it.
- On the way up in space, Colossus gets, SPACE SICKNESS. A harbinger of one of the best Ren & Stimpy episodes, no doubt.
- A random lawyer in Ireland is blasted to death with a cane! It's a one page foreshadow of villain-to-come, Black Tom Cassidy, whom we meet at the end of issue 101. Oh wait, SPOILER ALERT. Sorry about that.
- Space battles are always a welcome sight.
- Except when Storm uses who powers (which is the control over weather) to manipulate "solar wind" and destroy a Sentinel. Come on, man. What the fuck is that about?
- Nightcrawler fights like a complete queer. Sorry! Sorry, I know. But I'm looking at his acrobatic 'attacks' right now and he looks like a complete fucking jackass.
- And then there's a lot of standing around and talking and then the final page is a splash of the old and new X-Pals facing off.
This whole book felt like a bunch of random crap Claremont wanted to cram in so he could set up the next issue, big number one hundred, with the big showdown between the X-teams. It's a neat idea, but it makes for a pretty shitty pre-fight issue, as this one is definitely pretty shitty.
So who wins? Well, me, obviously, as I am about to go eat a fucking double cheeseburger. Yes!
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