Ok so the X-dongs are straight chillaxin around Rockafeller Center during a picturesque white snowy X-mas. Then Scott Summers and Jean Grey's long awaited smooch is interrupted by some big fucking evil robots (pronounced ROW-bits). Looks like its blue balls for Cyclops! The Sentinels are the evil rowbits and they capture Marvel Girl, Wolverine and Banshee and take them away. Then they take Xavier too, who's far away on a boat in the tropics, fishing on VACATION (see below). We find out its the evil Dr. Steven Lang who sent the evil rowbits to capture the X-dongs, which is part of his evil plan, Project Armageddon, which is a project to kill all mutants, regardless of their moral alignment. Wolvie, Jean and Banshee break out of their restrains but only get as far as the next room, because as it turns out (and this is the best part), the next room is OUTER SPACE! Whoopsies! That kind of information probably would have been useful to our heroes BEFORE they launched themselves through the wall and into the cold, dark, instant-death-inducing vacuum of space. What fuggin jagovs!
Can't a bald academic mutant fish for some marlin, rock some Tommy Bahamas and enjoy a little R&R WITHOUT getting asulted by giant purple rowbits these days? What the fuck, dawg.Here are some what-the-fuckage bits that i'll try and blitz through cause this shit is fucking taking FOREVER.
- Jack Kirby and Stan Lee (original co-creators of the X-rods) show up in the comic as themselves to complain about the state of X-Men comic books these days. Is this cool and I'm just jaded by are far more meta-blase environment in contemporary pop culture, or is this just retarded? I vote the later.
- Cyclops is dangling of a building and decides to starts narrating outloud to himself: "...so i stay where I am and hold on. But for how long, Scott... HOW LONG?" Dude, shut up and save the strength for holding on. Fucking putz.
- I actually like this corny line from Storm: "You are only a machine, Sentinel - and how can a mere machine stand against the power of Storm? The power of a RAMPAGING HURRICANE!!" Yeah! check yourself you giant purple dingus.
- Evil Dr. Lang is wearing a skin tight jumpsuit with a giant A on the chest, presumely standing for Armageddon. Why do mad scientists do dumb shit like that?
- Up in space, Wolverine rips off half of Jean Grey's dress so she can run around the space station better. Jean Grey is wearing the same ripped dress years later when her character is resurrected in the pages of The Avengers. Yes, I noticed that, it is because I am a giant nerd, duh.
This issue is very much a product of it's era, the lame as all hell mid to late 70's, but I still liked it. I mean, its a giant robot fight, rock n' roll, dude. Also I can't stress enough how fucking hilarious it is (to me anyway) that a bunch of X-Men accidentally run directly out into deep space. Dunderheads.
Ok great, next issue, do the X-Men who are floating in space and should already be dead, get saved? Yes of course they do, its a fucking comic book, dummy.
No comments:
Post a Comment