The super short recap: The X-Men break into the military base captured by Count Nefaria to stop him from blowing up planet Earth. They beat the shit out of the shitty animal/man bad guys, the Ani-Men, and then go after the Count, who flees in a plane. Thunderbird jumps on the god damn plane himself and then they both die when the god damn plane explodes. Oops. Then the X-Men go home.
Here's my take on page 14 panel 4
If you dont get the joke form the hilarious movie I got it from well, then, shut up, cause you don't deserve to.- Splash page starts with one of these ridiculous lines, "In a few seconds, the X-Men will all be dead... [turn page] ... unless they won't be! Oh man! Totally got me! I thought the X-Men were just going to be all dead there on page 2. Whew, that was a close one.
- For some reason they put alien looking Beast in the recap on page 2, even the he was completely superfluous to the story.
- Also nice that it only took Nightcrawler his third appearance to give his explanation about what happens if he teleports to the ground while falling (he continues falling and goes splat). Nightcrawler's teleportation power has all sorts of rules that Claremont loves explaining.
- Also only took Cololssus three appearances before he does his patented 'landing' (ie falling as fast as possible and exploding the earth into a crater when he lands).
- oh yeah, its Count Nefaria, not Count Nefarious, as I was saying yesterday. Still fucking terrible.
- Great Cyclops line, "Cut the comedy, Banshee. We've got work to do." Also great: Banshee did not say anything remotely comedic.
- Obviously being a fan of shitty names, Count Nefaria gave his Ani-Men shitty names. Por ejemplo: frog man is called Croaker, cat man is actually Catman, ape man is Gort (WTF?!?), butterfly woman is Dragonfly (the least worst of the bunch), and bird man never gets a name so probably just Birdman. Oh, and Catman smokes cigar in one completely random panel. Still no sign of ManBearPig though.
- Classic Claremont line: "Sooner or later something has to give... ...and sooner or later, something does!" And by something he means Thunderbird gets fucking exploded to hell!
- Thunderbird is one of the only Marvel character to ever stay dead, but he was only in three issues total, so its not like he was a big deal. I guess more if you count flashbacks in subsequent issues. But they also retconned a brother for Thunderbird, who had the exact same powers and origin, which is just as good as bringing back someone from the dead.
- Thunderbird was also a total downer, always with the negative comments. Don't be such a negative Nancy, Thunderbird, you cock!
- The ending is completely absurd. After watching the plane with Count Nefaria and Thunderbird explode, the remaining X-Men walk to the edge of a cliff where they can see the burning wreckage. Assuming both people are dead, the just turn around and leave the bodies in the smoldering crater. Also forgotten about: the monsterous Ani-Men last scene knocked out in the U.S.'s most sensitive military headquarters with a bunch of helpless servicemen.
- The ending really made me think of the movie Dirty Work. "But the bookies killed Dr. Thunderbird anyway. So he's dead. Well, good-bye!"
This issue was all action and was paced fairly well, so not a complete joke. The bad guys were fucking horrible, and the plot straight camp, but Claremont is already finding his groove and it won't be long before he actually comes up with some decent ideas that don't exacerbate the corny dialog. The issue wraps up the 2 part story continued from the previous comic. If TPBs were collected back then the way they are these days you probably include GS X-Men for 72 pages of story and a whole bunch of sketches and filler shit and sell it for $9.99. Instead I had to buy them all for a total of about $400. Jesus Christ did I really spend $400 on three comic books? Fuck. Well whatever, I was like 12 when I bought one of them and I made literlaly thousands of dollars a year when I bought the others so no sweat off my sack, bro. Also I bought the B&W Essential collection for like $10 used that has issues 94-119 and GS1. So there's some got some value there, ok asshole?
Whatever, I've spent about that at a strip club before, who cares, stop judging me!
Allright, next time: the Night of the fucking Demon!
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