X-Men 173: TO FROT AND FROT NOT

what we learned this issue besides obviously preferring to frot:

ROGUE AND WOLVERINE GO OUT BAR FIGHTING IN GINZA. UH, WHY AREN'T YOU IN ROPPONGI, LOSERS, THE CLUBS THERE ARE WAY NICER.

YURIKO AND STORM CONTINUE THEIR LESBIANIC-AWAKENING-CROSS-COUNTRY RAMPAGE.

STORM FOR THE FIRST TIME EVEN USES HER "POWERS TO DELIBERATELY INFLICT PAIN." HEY, GOOD FOR YOU, FAGGOT!

ROGUE AND WOLVIE EVENTUALLY TRACK DOWN THE NINJA ASSASSINS TRYING TO ASSASSINATE THE X-MANS AND A BAD ASS NINJA FIGHT ENSUES, WHICH THE X-MEN WIN, NATCH.

AND WOLVERINE AND MARIKO CELEBRATE WITH A WEDDING WHERE MADELYNE PRYOR MEETS THE X-WADS AND STORM SHOWS OFF HER NEW LEATHERED AND MOHAWKED DOMINATRIX OUTFIT.

BUT THEN ASSHOLE MASTERMIND FUCKS IT ALL UP AND MIND CONTROLS MARIKO INTO JILTING LOGAN-SAN AT THE ALTER. THANKS A LOT, MASTERMIND, YOU COCK!

AND PAUL SMITH CONTRIBUTES ANOTHER CLASSIC MATERPIECIFIC COVER THAT WILL BE REVERED AND HOMAGED BY BUTTHEADS FOR YEARS TO COME:

This was a great issue with so many great fight scenes and some tender moments and YES, SO MANY NINJAS. Mastermind is used as a total Deus Ex Machina to stop Wolverine's nuptials but his character would have been completely in the toilet had it gone through with the marriage so it's for the best (please see the main MU continuity's handling of Pepter Parker and Mary-Jane Watson for exhibit A).

It's also kind of silly that all these ninjas are fighting with throwing stars and shit when they also have nuclear-powered super-laser-blaster handguns and teleportation devices, but whatever, the fight scenes still roxzord.

The handling of Storm's de-twatification is rather bizarre, but also welcomed because before she was constantly on the rag and really not fun to read. And all she had to do was lez-out with a manic-depressive, quasi-suicidal, ex-boning partner of Wolverine's and buy a whole bunch of new leather clothes and a studded dog collar and shave her hair into a mohawk. Like, what took you so long, bitch!

Madelyne's introduction to the X-Men is also pretty hilarious as people keep mistaking her for Jean Grey, who we last saw killing literally billions of people, so that all try and kill her on the spot/recoil in horror. But that doesn't phase her. Nope, dutiful girlfriend to mutant stud Cyclops that she is, the only time she seems a little bit thrown off by her future in-law superheros is when Kitty Pryde asks her to babysit her pet dragon.

Yep, this is why comics are fucking awesome.

And you can officially consider Rogue a part of the X-Farts, now that she's hung with Wolvie and and held her own. She's totally cool now, bro, totally.

Next issue: SLUTS!