What we learn this issue besides that there is no fury in hell:
MAN COLOSSUS IS REALLY FUCKED NOW.
WOLVERINE AND STORM ARE PRACTICING IN THE DANGER ROOM. AND WITH PRESSURE MOUNTING, THE SEXUAL TENSION IS PALPABLE! CHECK IT OUT!
KITTY HAS RUNNED THE FUCK OFF TO THE BAXTER BUILDING TO ENLIST THE HELP OF GENIUS REED RICHARDS OF THE FANTASTIC FOURSKIN, BUT THOSE BITCHES AREN'T HOME.
MEANWHILE, NIGHTCRAWLER AND HIS BLONDE GYPSY HALF SISTER GIRLFRIEND FEND OFF THE BROTHERHOOD OF EVIL MUTANTS UNTIL THE REST OFF THE X-MEN SHOW UP. REALLY? BROTHERHOOD OF EVIL MUTANTS? THEY'RE STILL CALLING THEMSELVES THAT?
THE BLOB IS A FAT FUCK.
DESTINY'S POWERS WORK FOR SHIT.
THE X-MEN WIN BUT THE FIGHT DOESN'T MATTER BECAUSE AS THE FAT FUCKING BLOB SAYS: "AIN'T YOU CLOWNS TWIGGED YET?! WE WERE NEVER AFTER YOUR HIDES. THIS WAS A DIVERSION!" YES DUM DUMS, DIDN'T YOU REALIZE THIS WAS A RUSE, A CUNNING ATTEMPT TO DISTRACT THE X-CHODES SO MYSTIQUE COULD MURDER THE PROFESSOR!?
THE BLOB ALSO CALLS COLOSSUS "KITTY'S RUSSKIE SMOOCH." HAR!
BEFORE THE ASSASSINATION ATTEMPT, XAVIER WAS STRAIGHT LUXURIATING IN HIS MANSION BY THE FIRE, GOING OVER SOME PAPERS. JUST, Y'KNOW, BUSINESS PAPERS.
Wow, two whole cartoons, I'm really giving it my A game tonight!Actually I'm going to lazily wrap this shit up because I'm fucking hungry and I want to watch TV. The taxing life of a grad student, yessir.
Overall a good action issue and because everyone is so curious, one of the first comics I ever bought as a back issue when I was very young man. Thats nostalgia, muthafuckas!
So the fight ends with Xavier shot up but not dead and Kitty Pryde presumed dead because she fell while leaving the Baxter building after she stole Peen Richards' "high intensity heat source he designed to thaw organic matter without causing any harm." Oh wow, Richards just happened to invent that, did he? Well, lucky day for Kitty Pryde, isnt it?
So yeah I skipped some stuff and Rogue and Mystique have a real mother-foster daughter falling out. And next issue we find out if Kitty and/or Colossus and/or Xavier die (hey, can't Destiny, the woman with precognitive powers, just tell the X-Schlongs if they die? Oh that's right, whenever it would give too much off the plot away, Destiny's future sight just happens to get cloudy. How convenient for you, CLAREMONT!) But anyway, no, none of those people die, ya ding dong.
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