X-MEN 266: ARMPIT (Kiss the Pan the Pan Kisses You)

LOOKS LIKE OL MITBAG IS HONKING SOME UNDERAGE BEWBAGE. THATS A BAD MITBAG! BAD MITBAG!

ALSO NICE PINK BODYSUIT. ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME WITH THAT THING? WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE, SOME KIND OF DAVID BOWIE OR SOMETHING?

 



WHY, THATS A HEAD THE VIRGIN MARY HERSELF WOULD BE PROUD TO TAKE A DUMP IN.

ITS ALSO APPARENTLY THE ONLY BATHROOM WITH GREEN WATER AND SHOWER HEADS LIKE FIRE HOSES.

GIVE WHAT UP, EXACTLY, SHADOW KING? SHE'S TEN YEARS OLD YOU PEDO. TASTE THE LIGHTENING, YOU DESERVE IT!

CAUTION: SMOKING MAY CAUSE COOLNESS!

NOT AN IMPRESSIVE SEQUENCE. VERY SPASTIC. GAMBIT YOU LOOK LIKE A SPAZ TO ME.

INDEED.

SEE? THAT'S DEFINITELY DAVID FUCKIN BOWIE.

HE'S SO DANGEROUS!

AND THEN VAL COOPER, WHO IS UNDER THE SHADOW KING'S MIND CONTROL, SHOOTS MYSTIQUE.

OR DOES SHE??????

The first appearance of Gambit, an issue now worth about fifty clams, that I bought off a spinner rack in the convenience store for a cool dollar. Yep, great investment these comic books!

What's weird is for one of the most collectable comics of the last 30 years or so, its kind of crap. The bi-monthly schedule is clearly putting a strain on the production values, and the rushed time tables is exposing some cracks in the foundation. The coloring is atrocious, multiple letterers are used (one shitty and one excellent), and the guest artist is also pretty bad. In between Silvestri and Jim Lee's run is probably the books low point artistically.

And the story is just is OK. Gambit, a fellow thief, just happens to be robbing the same house where mini Storm is about to be possessed by the Shadow King. He blows some shit up and the two of them escape. Now Stormy and Gamby are friends.

Then maybe Val Cooper kills Mystique, who is pretty resigned to her fate, having been warned about it by her dead lesbian psychic former lover, Destiny. Hooray comics! 

 

Next issue we wrap up this mini Storm mini story and the art turns a corner for good. Great, can't fuggin wait.