X-MEN 269: ROWG REEDOO

HOW APPROPRIATE THAT ISSUE TWO SIXTY-NINE IS A SUPER SEXY ONE. LETS TAKE A GANDER AT THIS UNSTOPPABLE SENSUAL ASSAULT!

 

ROGUE USED TO BE A SHY, SOUTHERN TEENAGER OF NORMAL, TEENAGE PROPORTIONS. NOW SHE LOOKS LIKE A SUPER MODEL WITH PLUS SIZE FUN BAGS. EH SURE, WHATEVER.

HERE SHE IS, COMING OUT OF THE SIEGE PERILOUS. NUDE, NATURALLY.

PRIMORDALLY SEXY.

"I SURE HOPE THIS CYBORG IS OF THE DICKLESS VARIETY"

DON'T WORRY, ROGUE, IT IS.

WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS? AMPUTEE TRON PORN? I THINK MY LAPTOP JUST POPPED A BONER.

LILA CHENEY, INTERGALATIC ROCKSTAR. KILLER BEWBS.

ABOUT AS GRATUITOUS AS IT GETS.

CORRECT CAROL DANVERS, THE ORIGINAL MS MARVEL. ITS ALSO AMANDA SEFTON, AND POLARIS. AND YOU'VE ALL GOT MASSIVE JUGS.

ALSO THERE'S A T-REX!

COMICS!
 

HE REALLY HATES IT WHEN YOU CALL HIM THAT.

Jim Lee lays the cheesecake on pretty thick as Claremont finally gets around to showing what happened to Rogue after she walked through the Siege Perilous like 20 issues ago or something. We also check in on a couple dangling plotlines as the stories are slowly being woven together.

Rogue shows up back in Australia and is immediately attacked by the killer outlaw cyborg gang, the Reavers (they love to Reave!). She's also attacked by Ms Marvel, whose powers Rogue stole a long time ago. Rogue and Ms Marvel teleport again with the help of Gateway, the mute aborigine that hangs out in Australia. Rogue ends up in the Savageland, a tiny enclave of prehistoric flora and fauna that sits above a geothermal hotspot in Antarctica, while Ms Marvel get marooned on Muir Island, which has been taken over by the Shadow King, who now has everyone under mind control. Ms Marvel ends up back in the Savegeland to fight Rogue, but is now also enthralled by the evil Shadow King. Eventually, fuckin Magneto shows up to save Rogue's life. We don't find out what happens to Ms Marvel and what happens next until several issues later because the next 3 X-Men will part of the 9 part X-Tinction Agenda crossover, along with X-Factor and the New Mutants, which takes place in Genosha.

Also Lila Cheney ran away from some fucking guy called the Strike Lord, who appears to have taken over the Shiar Empire and is probably a total bastard. Hey, the Shiar Empire, isn't that where Charles Xavier is supposed to be????

Again, we don't find out anything until after the crossover.

So, nice to have your back Rogue. Your breastuses are looking nice and your clevages are heaving.

Good issue, next is the massive x-over the blew my tiny little mind back in the day. Also an annual, with a much shittier x-over.