X-MEN 268: MADRIPOOR KNAVES

HAPPY DAY YOU MOTHERS.

 



YOU WANT SOME HEROIC FUCKING POSES? HOW BOUT THESE RIGHT HERE. THERES YOUR HEROIC MOTHERFUCKIN POSES.

FUCKIN CAPTAIN AMERICA.

CAPTAIN MOTHERFUCKING AMERICA.

AND WOLVERINE JUST FUCKIN CUTS THAT NINJA OPEN RIGHT AT THE BELLY. FUCKIN GUTS SPILLIN OUT EVERYWHERE.

I HATE MADRIPOOR NAZIS.

CLAREMONT AND TOM ORZECHOWSKI LETTERER SUPREME KIND OF STEP ON JIM LEE'S GREAT VISUAL GAG HERE BUT YOU CAN STILL ENJOY JUBILEE LAMENTING HER LACK OF AWESOME ROCKIN BEWBULARS.

HAHA NICE.

FUCKIN LOOK AT WOLVERINE. LOOK HOW FUCKING AWESOME HE IS. YOU WANT TO RUN HIM OVER IN YOU CAR, NAZIS? HUH, IS THAT YOUR PLAN?

WELL FUCK YOU. WOLVERINE SHITS ON YOUR PLAN.

YOU TAKE SOME OF THAT, NAZIS!

WOLVERINE HAS VERY PARTICULAR TASTES.

I WAS ALSO TURNED INTO A NEWT!

WAIT, WHY IS THE TELESCOPE HAVE A SPEAKER? AND WHAT'S RECORDING THE SOUND? EH WHATEVER.

This issue is outstanding. So fucking rad that I had to buy multiple copies when it came out, because I cut a bunch of the panels out of the first one I bought so I could tape them up around my desk. I also traced a bunch of the pages on notebook paper.

Yes I was an incredibly cool nine year old, thank you for asking.

Wolverine and Captain American fight Nazis and ninjas in the 40's, Wolverine, Psylocke, Jubilee and Black Widow fight ninjas in the present. Yup, its as awesome as it sounds. SO AWESOME.

Its not perfect, though. Like, I never understood how the Black Widow can be a child in 1941 and in her 20's in 1990. But you can tell Jim Lee and Scott Williams took their appropriate amount of time crafting this ish, and the result is quite stunning. They are fucking professionals.

The flashback scenes are also kind of pointless and involve some Wolverine retconning, and the present day plot ends rather abruptly, but whatever, its still excellent and a wonderful display of Wolverine at his most bad ass. At the end of the flashback, Captain America tells Wolverine that it would be a shame to break up their successful partnership and Wolverine says: "No thanks, Cap, I don't need a sidekick."

HAHAHA, BURN! In your face Captain Americunt!

Whoa, dunno where that came from. I actually like Star Spangled Sentinel of Liberty. I'd let him spangle my face if you know what I'm talking about.

Still, Wolverine reigns supreme. I'd also like to point out that the popularity of the name "Logan" has risen in step with the popularity of Wolverine the character. Wolverine was created in 1974, at which time, Logan was the 968th most popular boy's name. In 1990 the name ranked 104th. Last year is was 21st. And yes, I feel comfortable attributing 100% of that dramatic rise to Wolverine and in particular Chris Claremont's writing of the character. Believe it.

Anyway, the long term plotline of the Strucker twins and their alliance with the Hand got cut short due to editorially mandated crossovers and then Claremont quitting, so we never saw how this would have played out. It's also hinted that Psylocke may still be under the thrall of the Hand, but that's just kind of ignored, too. It's not really a problem, it just means that we're getting to the end of the Claremont run. So you better savor every last one of these issues. Savor the motherfucking shit out of them.