LADY MANDARIN? WHATS THAT LIKE A KIND OF ORANGE? HEY SHUT UP ABOUT ORANGES ALREADY.
SO I WAS GONNA DO THIS EARLIER BUT THEN I GOT INTERRUPTED BY 8 NATURAL LIGHTS. IN FATTY NATTY BOTTLES. AH, DELICIOUS LUXURY.
OK, LOTS OF SCANNED PICS TO GET THROUGH, LETS DO IT!
THEY ARE FRIENDS. PART TWO OF THE ASS OF VENGENCE, EXCEPT IT BARELY HAS ANYTHING TO DO WITH THE ACTUAL ACTS OF VENGENCE ITS OSTENSIBLY A PART OF. HEY WHEN YOU CONSISTANTLY SELL A HALF MILLIO COPIES EVERY ISH YOU'RE ALLOWED TO DO WHATEVER IT IS THE FUCK THAT YOU WANT.
DO YOU HEAR ME? CLAREMONT GETS TO DO WHATEVER HE WANTS!!!!!!!!
PSYLOCKE, A PURPLE HAIRED BITISH CHICK, IS NOW AN ASIAN ASSASSIN. HERE SHE LAYS DOWN THE LAW TO THE FORMER HEADS OF THE HONG KONG CRIMINAL UNDERWOLD.
THERES A NEW BOSS LADY IN TOWN, CUNTYPOOS!
'KIAI' IS THE SAME SOUNDS I MAKE WHEN THERE IS SOME TEEPEE IN THE TOILET BOWL AND IM CUTTING IT TO SHREDS WITH MY INCREDIBLY STRONG AND POWERFUL STREAM OF URINE. KIAI! TAKE
THAT TOILET PAPER!!!
HERE'S A COOL TECHNIQUE. THISE CRIME LORDS NEED TO CONTEMPLATE THE NEW ORDER OF THINGS THAT PSYLOCKE/LADY MANDARIN JUST ESTABLISHED BY BEATING ALL THEIR HENCHMEN'S ASSES. SO JIM LEE TAKES A SINGLE PANEL AND BREAKS IT UP INTO MULTIPLE PANELS FOR EACH CHARACTER SO OUR MINDS ARE TRICKED INTO THINKING TIME IS ELAPSING AS IT NORMALLY DOES FORM PANEL TO PANEL.
KIND OF SCARY HOW GOOD JIM LEE WAS AT SO YOUNG AN AGE. FUCKING RECOGNIZE, NERDS!
OF COURSE THEN JIM LEE GOES AHEAD AND GIVES JUBILEE A COSTUME THATS BLATENTLY RIPPED OFF FROM FRANK MILLER'S ROBIN COSTUME FROM HIS MASTERPIECE 'THE DARK KNIGHT'. I'M SORRY, I MEAN JIM LEE HOMAGES FRANK MILLER. ALSO WOLVERINE LOOKS LIKE DON FUCKING JOHNSON. THE FUCK, MAN.
I LIKE THIS PANEL ITS FUNNY. WOLVERINE IS TALKING TO CAROL DANVERS AND NICK FURY EXCEPT THIER JUST FIGMENTS OF HIS IMAGINATION BECAUSE HE GOT FUCKED UP SO BAD BY THE REAVERS IN AUSTRALIA THAT HE'S GOING FUCKING CRAZY AND JUBILEE IS LIKE WHAT THE FUCK DUDE AND HES LIKE UH NO YOU ARE THE ONE WHO IS FUCKED.
HAHA, ALL VERY FUNNY TO ME.
PYLOCKE FUCKS UP A NINJA WITH HER PSYCHIC KNIFE. ITS CLAREMONTS WAY OF MAKING A BORING TELEPATH USEFUL IN FIGHTS. BECAUSE CLAREMONT IS FOND OF THE SILVER AGE STYLE DIALOG THAT HAS CHARACTERS EXPLAIN WHAT IS HAPPENING IN DIALOG
WHILE WHAT THEY ARE EXPLAINING IS PLAINLY SHOWN IN THE FUCKING DRAWING, PYSLOCKE WILL LET EVERYONE KNOW THAT HER PSYCHIC KNIFE IS "THE FOCUSED TOTALITY OF HER PSYCHIC POWERS", WHICH WILL BECOME A JOKE TO CLAREMONT AFFICIONADOS, SUCH AS MYSELF, MUCH LIKE THE TERM 'RABBITING' FOR 'RUNNING AWAY' IS USED AD INFINITUM.
YES, US CLARMONT AFFICIONADOS, WE ARE A COOL BUNCH OF SEXY DUDES, WE ARE.
THIS IS GRATUITOUS AND REDICULOUS. COME ON, WHAT FUCK IS IT, THIS NONSENSE.
NICE TETONS FOR AN AIZE THO, AMIRITE?
HAHA, NOTHER GREAT PANEL. JUBLIEE IS ALL LIKE, HEY FUCK YALL.
YES VERY GOOD. A+.
HAVEN'T HAD ONE OF THESE IN A WHILE. WOLVERINE ABOUT TO MOTHERFUCK SOME NINJAS. NOT SURE WHERE HE GOT THE TIGHTS FROM. WOULD'VE ENJOYED SEEING HIM CUT SOME DUDES IN HIS BLAZER AND DRESS SLACKS. JUST A CLASSY WAY TO STAB PEOPLE TO DEATH.
I LOVE HOW WOLVERINE HAS A NINJA IN A HEADLOCK WHILE HE'S MURDERING OTHERS WITH KNIVES AND THE GUY IN THE HEADLOCK IS ALL LIKE, HEY STOP OK, ENOUGH, I CAN'T BREATH, TIME OUT!
AND THEN PSYLOCKE/LADY MANDARIN AND WOLVERINE FIGHT AND IT ENDS WITH WOLVERINE UNCONCIOUS BUT WAIT IS PSYLCOKE UNDER THE MANDARIN'S THRALL OR THE THRALL OF THE HAND OR IS SHE RESISTING AND JUST PLAYING ALL OF THEM??? NO ONE KNOWS I DONT KNOW NO ONE CAN KNOW!!!!!!!
Wolverine gets to hang out in Hong Kong as "Patch", the hard boiled alter ego Claremont invented for Wolverine so he could go solo and get involved in the seedy underbelly of places like Hong Kong and the made up city of Madripoor that's kind of like a fucked up comic book version of Singapore. In this issue, Wolverine and Jubilee meet up with an old friend of Wolveroonie names Rose. We also learn that Wolverine is like 100 years old. This is played up a lot more in the Wolverine solo comic book going on. It makes sense, as his healing factor keeps him from dying or even aging.
Ah, to be a perpetual 20 something. Since I don't have a mutant healing factor I guess I'll have to settle for drinking like one and an early death!
Muir Island is still around and Forge is still a boring asshole.
And the Mandarin, despite being an integral part of last issue, doesn't show up in a single fucking panel.
Oh my god we're half way through the ass of vengeance issues. Can we get through all 3? I bet we can. I'd bet my fucking life on it.
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