X-MEN 261: Harrier's Fupa

BECAUSE I JUST DIDN'T FEEL LIKE PUTTING 'CUNT' IN THE TITLE. MAN I MUST BE GETTING OLD. 

 

NOW YOU FORGOT! SHINEMAN! WASH YOUR HANDS!

I HAVE A ITINERARY MR WATSON.

HAHA, NICK OF TIME, UNDER RATED MOVIE FOR SURE.

I LOVED THESE TYPES OF SPREADS. A WHOLE SET OF DOPE NEW CHARACTERS, OF VARYING SKILLS, PERSONALITIES AND ETHNICITIES. OFTEN THIER CODENAMES TELL YOU EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO KNOW.

 

THIS WAS ONE OF THE FIRST X-MEN COMICS I (OR ONE OF MY BROTHERS) EVER PICKED UP OFF THE NEWSTAND AND I MUST HAVE READ IT A BILLION TIMES.

 

AND MY READ I MEAN LOOKED AT THE PICTURES AND THEN REENACTED THE SCENES WITH GI JOES.



THAT GUYS NAME IS "AXE". NO SHIT.

I CALL THIS "THE MANY FACES OF JUBILEE". ACTUALLY TOOK ME A LITTLE WHILE TO PUT TOGETHER. THESE ARE ALL FROM JUST TWO CONSECUTIVE PAGES AND IT SHOWS WHY MARC SILVESTRI IS THE MASTER AND WE MUST ALL BOW DOWN.

SERIOUSLY, THINK OF SOME DIFFERENT EMOTIONS AND THEN TRY DRAWING THEM WITH A FACE SO THAT A STRANGER WOULD KNOW WHAT THOSE EMOTION ARE. ITS FUCKING HARD. YOU CAN'T DO IT. DON'T FUCKING LIE YOU CAN DRAW SHIT. ADMIT IT. FUCKING ADMIT YOU ARE SHIT AND SILVESTRI IS GOD. YEAH, THATS WHAT I THOUGHT.

THIS SCENE IS THE TITS.

LA LA LA, SITTING AT A TABLE, EATING SOME FOOD, WITH MY BACK TO THE WALL, TOTALLY SAFE AND OH FUCK!

HEY WHO WANTS SOME NIGHTMARES?!?

PAM?

DON'T WORRY, ITS THE LATE 80'S EARLY 90'S, ONE OF THOSE PIZZAS HAS ANCHOVIES.

ANOTHER AWESOME SCENE. SILVESTRI IS KING, REKANIZE.

RATHER ABRUPT ENDING. BASICALLY YOU CAN SKIP THE WHOLE BOOK AND JUST READ THIS PANEL AND YOU'D GET EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO KNOW.

BUT THEN YOU'D MISS OUT ON ALL THE FUCKING EXCELLENCE.

THIS COMIC RULED. A+

Wolverine, Jubilee and Psylocke are in Madipoor and they fight Wolverine's pals, Hardcase and the Harriers, for practice. That's it.

BUT HAVE I MENTIONED IT WAS FUCKING AWESOME?????

Also some subplots are moved forward a bit. Donald Pierce and the Reavers are still out there, and they approach that woman who I thought died in the plane crash last issue, Cylla, or whatever her name is, and ask her if she wants to be part of their killer cyborg gang. Cylla is in a hospital and missing a leg and they don't really give her much of a choice. But why the fuck WOULDN'T you want to be a killer cyborg? God damn I wish someone would give me that option. So sweet.

Also Jean Grey shows up out of no where (she's supposed to be hanging out with the rest of the original X-Men in her own comic book, X-Factor) and gets ambushed by the Morlocks at the ruins of the destroyed X-Mansion. Forge and Banshee observe from the undestroyed X-Mansion basement like a bunch of creeps and do nothing to save her. That's because they suck. Well Forge sucks anyway.

Also the first page of the book is a splash page of a bunch of photos of Jubilee, Psylocke and Wolviepoo. But Psycloke and Wolverine are supposed to be invisible to cameras and shit. And they can't be old pictures because Psycloke is Asian, which just happened a few issues ago. SO WHAT THE FUCK.

I guess sometimes comic books lie to you. Motherfucker.

Anyway, very good ish. Next one has way more Forge and Banshee! Great!*

*Not great.