X-Men 233: Dong of Pud

What we learned this issue besides that Broodbeast is the new favored term for the aliens, rather than sleazoids, for which we are all thankful.

COLOSSUS, BUT YOUR SHINY METAL BONER AWAY AND STOP MOLESTING THOSE AUTOMOBILES, WILL YOU?

YOU ARE KIND OF ASKING FOR IT, WOLVIE.

RELIGIONS MAKE PERFECT SENSE. ITS NO SURPRISE AT ALL WHY THEY ARE SO POPULAR.

STORM GETS PWNED. THO IT IS KIND OF A CHEAP SHOT.

WHATS GOING ON HERE? I DON'T THINK ANYONE NOSE! HAHAHAHAHA!

This issue should be rated A, for ALL ANAL. I mean ALL ACTION. Its the sleazoids  (or broodbeasts, as Storm now calls them) versus the Uncanny X-Men, and the X-Males kinda get their butts kicked, mostly because these broods have sleazoid strength and skills AND mutant powers, like speaking English without any lips, so now they're TWICE as dangerous and only HALF as obvious a rip off of the Alien movies.

By the way, who else is pumped the fuck up for Prometheus? It looks dope as hell. Fuckin Space Jockey up in this bitch.

Anyway, slave to the serial format of comics that he is, Claremont painstakingly has each mutant brood introduce themselves, their power and their code name to everyone in very unnatural, often clumsy sounding dialog in the middle of a battle to the death. Like if a killer alien with super powers would be like, "hey check it out, my names Brickbat [groan, btw] because I'm super strong!" Rather than just fucking killing you and being done with it.

But whatever, comics. whaddyagunnado?

There's also a lot of tergiversation (790 on my SAT verbals, WHAT) over whether or not it's OK to kill broodbeasts, since they took over innocent human hosts and there just may be a way to save the brood infested people. Havok, in particular, spends most of the book sitting on his hands like a giant poos poos and whining about how his plasma blasts are too powerful to use. Then he kills a guy anyway (Divebomber, to be exact and to provide another groan inducing nickname). So he's dead.

And I think Colossus kills that asshole Brickbat. Yea!

BUT, Wolverine gets kidnapped and teabagged/infected with a Brood, and Rogue and Psylocke have been mind controlled and now fight for the sleazoids and will probably be infected at some point as well.

And the main brood badguy has a big floppy blond haircut parted on the side. It's quite a handsome 'do if I may say so. Chicks love the floppy blonde side parted haircuts, even on murderous killer alien insects.

Also Madelyne Pryor continues to loose her mind. And some religious people are holding a Chritian revival in the Red Rocks Ampitheatre in Denver. Dave Matthews is opening.

Next issue, the DMB rock out and the X-Men (probably) beat the shit out of some alien bug faced looking motherfuckers!