HEY WHO WANTS TO SEE SOME LITTLE KOREAN GIRL THROW AROUND SOME ARTICULATE QUASI ANIMATE TRANSITORY PLASMOIDS? FUCK YEAH THAT SHIT'S AWESOME!
YOU DUDES WANT TO GET UP IN THIS BEAV? WELL ALL RIGHT.
After the craziness of El Infierno and the death of Jean Grey's clone, Madelyne Pryor, Claremont dials back the angst and ratchets up the camp. The plot, briefly, involves the lady X-Men being bored. So they get their naked abo buddy Gateway to teleport them to the Hollywood Mall, where they go shopping, get make-overs, check out some male strippers (no really they do) and happen upon a young Korean mutant named Jubilee (her real name) that needs rescuing from some mutant hunting Ghostbuster knock-offs. The knock-offs, called the M-Squad, are aware that they are ridiculous doofuses and are played up to humorous effect. The X-Broads are also constantly cracking jokes as they slut their way through a frenzy of conspicuous consumption. I guess mutant outlaws who the world thinks died months ago are still able to maintain decent enough credit.
I also guess it was decided that they X-Pals, while quite a diverse group of friends when compared to typical American sit-com standards, was severely lacking in the slanty eyes and sideways vaginas department. Thus, Jubilee, the Korean-American Valley Girl with the power to shoot fireworks out of her tits. Oh no wait that is Katy Perry (high five for already outdated topical reference!) Jubilee shot fireworks out of hands, like a normal person would.
Here is an artists rendition of what Jubilee would look like with the face my Korean-American Pal, David Peene.
The character doesn't actually look like that in this issue tho. She doesn't get that costume for another couple years, when the artist Jim Lee decided that she should exactly like Robin from The Dark Knight Returns (look it up, I'm not explaining that whole fucking book).
Anywho, Jubliee secretly teleports back to Australia with the rest of the X-Menstrators, who probably need to get back home so they can go scrap book or yoga whatever the fuck it is that girls do.
OK so that was a fun issue. Now I probably need to take a break from Balzac's tender Ballsack for a while. Not just this but pretty much everything I enjoy needs to come to a crashing halt, since it seems getting one's life back on track takes a surprising amount of time and energy. At least a lot more than I've been devoting to it anyway. God, why does giving a shit about your future have to be so lame!
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