WHAT WE LEARNED THIS ISSUE:
DISCO IS NOT DEAD, MUTHAFUCKA
EVIL CRIMNAL VANS HAVE SHITLOADS OF BUTTONS IN THEM
STORM DOESN’T KNOW HER OWN PHONE NUMBER
THE X-MEN ROLL HARD ON THE DOUBLE R’S
GOING TO CLUBS IN 1979 MEANS PUTTING A PAPERCLIP THROUGH YOUR NOSE
A fuggin disco recap!
The Hellfire Club and the X-Men both go chasing after another new mutant. This time, a fully grown woman who sings in seedy disco clubs in lower Manhattan. The club is hilarious, by the way, full of punks, disco queens and blaxploitation pimps.
Jean Grey and Cyclops roll up in a Rolls Royce and enter the club while Nightcrawler runs recon. They’re attacked, but because they have the motherphucking phoenix phorce on their side, they rather easily prevail over the armored Hellfire goons. Not, however, before Wyngarde shows up in person and makes Jean Grey hallucinate back to the 18th century again, this time tricking her into making out with him in the club (no bottle full of bub, however) in full view of Cyclops, who watches on and does nothing like an impotent nutless tampon.
Back at the Hellfire secret lair, Kitty is detected, but not before Storm slips her a piece of cloth with a phone number for the X-Men on it (why the fuck would you ever sew that into your uniform?) which she uses to contact the rest of the uncaptured team.
So Kitty Pyrde, the 13.5 year old who earlier his day was at ballet practice, is running for her life from a bunch of costumed super villains, and Phoenix, Cyclops, Nightcrawler and Dazzler all speed off to her rescue. Dazzler, by the way, has the power to make a really intense lightshow that causes people to fall into a trance. Wow, talk about the softest of all mutant powers. What would you do if you were a dude with this power? Fucking hang myself, probably.
Ok, next time we find out if they X-Dorks save Kitty (hint, they do!).
No comments:
Post a Comment