X-Men 139: Something SMELLY this way FARTS

WHAT WE LEARNED THIS ISSUE:

CLAREMONT WANTS TO SHOW OFF THAT HE KNOWS A LINE FROM MAC FUGGIN BETH

WOLVERINE DOESN'T DRINK LEMONADE BUT HE DOES LOVE BEER AND HE'S STILL ON THE FENCE ABOUT ZIMA

DID KITTY PRYDE HAVE A FUN BAT MITZVAH? WHY WON'T THE TELL US ABOUT IT!?!

WENDIGO HAS A SET OF PALE TESTICLES SIMILAR TO A YETI'S

This issue is all about the fuckin Wolverine. He mouths of to Xavier (When Xavier admonishes him thusly: "Wolverine, call me 'Professor', 'Professor X', 'Professor Xavier', or even, if you must, 'Charles'. But not 'Charley'. Is that clear?" Wolvie waggishly replies, "Sure, Chuck." Haha, though I'm not sure why Claremont spells, 'Charlie', 'Charley'. How is that pronounced, shar-LAY?), he pounds a few brewskies, changes his uniform (so now the supposed feral tracker is wearing something remotely camouflage-able rather than day-glo yellow with blue highlights - though it is rather Cleveland Browns), and even has is first appearance from the Incredible Hulk issues 180-181 recapped.

Most of the action is Wolverine going back to Canada to officially resign from his former bosses, Department H, some CIA-like Canadian equivalent. Then he ends up helping half of Alpha Flight track down Wendigo, who has been eating people around the Hudson Bay (om nom nom). Only Nightcrawler (who is called Nightcreeper by someone at one point, that is real close to NightRAPER if you ask me), goes with Wolverine and the last page is Nightcrawler being attacked alone by the monstrous, Bigfoot-esque Wendigo.

Also we learn Angel has joined the team to make up for Cyclops quitting (Kitty being Jean Grey's replacement). Also Kitty starts taking dance lessons from some black lady named Stevie Hunter. Why is that in a comic book? Who gives a shit if Kitty takes dance lessons? Although I would like to practice the horizontal mambo with Kitty, if you know what I mean (hint: penis in vagina).

It's a two-parter story that gets resolved next issue. Also only 4 more Claremont-Byrne issues left. Also Angel has one of the shittiest super powers ever. Giant feathery wings that let him fly? Not only is it totally impractical, you can't do any damage. Why he doesn't carry a gun with him at all times is one of the great mysteries of X-Men lore. A big fucking dumb ass retarded mystery.